Mirrors are so cruel
Well, good and bad weekend. Went to my Mom's on Saturday to get hair cut and colored. I had shorts and a t shirt on. As I sat in that stupid chair, I saw myself in the mirror and felt so frumpy and so disgusted with myself. hair cut looks good though. Then, went to SteinMart and bought a pair of pants and a couple of tops. My mom wears a size 2 and that did not help my self esteem. I didn't take the tags off the clothes. Part of me wants to cry and take them back. I just felt AWFUL in the fitting room. Went grocery shopping at Wegmans after and bought some healthy things. They have these things called CocoPops they make on site. Multigrain, like a rice cake. 16 calories. nice and crunchy. Can use as a snack with some raspberry jam. Sunday, Paul's sister and BIL came over. Ate ok yesteray. Granola cereal & milk, coffee, peach, fat free hot dog with bun, rotisserie chicken breast, baked potato, butter, corn on cob, 1 pc italian bread. I ate a piece of angel food cake and some berries and squirty whipped cream for dessert and then some light micro popcorn for a snack. It has been over 90 degrees forever and now at least for next 5 days. Too hot. Did have 2 days of severe rain and storms and a thunder storm this am. Paul actually had to cut the grass on Saturday, first time in over 3-4 weeks. Down to 150.5 lbs, part of it I am sure is TOM almost over.
David is much better. He did apologize for his behavior at the bowling alley and was helpful this weekend and even tempered. Took a personal day off today. I don't know why, I am still not sleeping well some nights. My brain goes on overdrive the minute my head hits the pillow. I am very tired today. I am packing up the one set of cabinets in the kitchen. paul started taking cabinets out and some flooring. This is going to be over a month of this. Ugh.
Don't know if it is hormones or what, but a couple of days of horrible depressive thoughts. Feelings of loss that haven't even occured, like my life is going so well that it can't last. I can't be this lucky, if that makes sense. Going to try to do some yoga or deep breathing at night before bed.
Got lots of cleaning done this week and today is packing, throwing away, decluttering. Did 12000 steps on Friday and only 8000 steps on Saturday and Sunday. So going to focus on getting in my 10000 steps ever day the rest of this week. Going to focus on taking my vitamins every day (forgot yesterday.) Going to focus on abs this week- bender ball, etc.
I am 96% of the way done my Wii Walk It Out. A few more times and I will be done. Boo! My Golds Gym dance workout comes out on August and I preordered it. Looks like a great workout.
David is much better. He did apologize for his behavior at the bowling alley and was helpful this weekend and even tempered. Took a personal day off today. I don't know why, I am still not sleeping well some nights. My brain goes on overdrive the minute my head hits the pillow. I am very tired today. I am packing up the one set of cabinets in the kitchen. paul started taking cabinets out and some flooring. This is going to be over a month of this. Ugh.
Don't know if it is hormones or what, but a couple of days of horrible depressive thoughts. Feelings of loss that haven't even occured, like my life is going so well that it can't last. I can't be this lucky, if that makes sense. Going to try to do some yoga or deep breathing at night before bed.
Got lots of cleaning done this week and today is packing, throwing away, decluttering. Did 12000 steps on Friday and only 8000 steps on Saturday and Sunday. So going to focus on getting in my 10000 steps ever day the rest of this week. Going to focus on taking my vitamins every day (forgot yesterday.) Going to focus on abs this week- bender ball, etc.
I am 96% of the way done my Wii Walk It Out. A few more times and I will be done. Boo! My Golds Gym dance workout comes out on August and I preordered it. Looks like a great workout.
Replies
Nothing like a fitting room to motivate you!! How tall are you and what is your goal weight? 150 is my goal weight. Can\'t wait to get there!
Sometimes you have to try on lots of ill fitting depressing clothes to find the ones that look great and make you feel great! Keep trying. Skirts are my savior in the summer. Those two b*tchy women that are on Oprah sometimes....um....like the \"Wear this, Not that\" women - they always say women should not wear shorts. I understand that! At least it\'s true for me! And another piece of awesome advice from them - wear sandals that are metallic silver or gold or light tan colored - they disappear into your feet making your legs look longer and slimmer.
I need to try the Wii Walk it Out. That sounds fun. And you\'ve got me interested in Zumba too!
Glad David is better :) That\'s great!
I know that hormone feeling - some times I feel like someone died and I am in mourning, but no one has died. I didn\'t know when I was younger that the mid-late 30\'s and the 40\'s would be this hard for emotional upheaval. But I also love the wisdom and solid foundation that comes with this age, so I am OK with the whole bag of tricks. I only need to take up drinking about 5 days a month, ha ha ha.
Hang in there through this - know there is a light at the end - and good job journal writing it out!
xoxo
I am only 5\' 1\". My goal weight is 110. That is my ultimate goal weight anyway. I am 150.5 lbs now. Going to push myself over the next month or so to get down to 140. I had gotten down to 143 in January which was my lowest in many many years. I think I was about 110, 115 when I met Paul, 21 years ago. I ballooned up from there. After I get to 140, then will push for 130.
OK well the 110 makes me question that final goal number a little. That\'s on the low end for 5\'1\". And as you age, your healthy body weight changes. So just double check on that 110 goal, OK? All the ranges I\'m seeing for 5\'1\" are 106-132 lbs, so what brought you to the 110 decision at THIS point in life (not what you were back when....)?? xoxo
I am with Louie on the 110# - seems low. When younger 140 seemed heavy for me at 5\'9\" but now 155-160 is a good weight. But you will know where to settle at when as you lose....listen to your body with this.
Super that David apologized! Love hearing that.
Dressing rooms - UGH I hate them.....I still have not gotten any new dress pants and it has been 10 months!
Me too! I am about your same height (5\'11/2\" ) and my goal weight is about 130-135. My niece, who is a fitness instructor and a good balance between having some curves and being super-fit is 150lbs. and she looks great and she is only about 5\'2\". If I am happy with the way I look at 150lbs. I am calling it goal reached!
But I can relate to the looking at yourself in a mirror at the hairdresser and thinking \"my hair looks great but my body is embarrassing me\". I think it is the situation, most women don\'t look sexy in the hairdresser\'s chair...take it from a former hairdresser. I like what Louie said about shorts. I don\'t like wearing them at all, I only do it to survive the heat...wearing skirts and doing the job I do is not a good idea.
And my Mom is also a size 2 and my sisters are all skinny and my nieces are all skinny, and my Aunts are all skinny, and my cousins are all skinny. I don\'t know why I am the ONLY one that inherited Grandmom\'s and Great Grandmom\'s figures but I like to think of it as somewhat of an honor, as if I am destined to be a revered matriarch someday....LOL!
Glad David apologized...it sounds as if he grew up a bit over the last few days and realized that sort of behavior isn\'t cool. But it boils down to this: Moms deserve so much more respect than these teenagers these days know how to give. They haven\'t learned the values of respect because we live in the day and age of cell phones, computers, video games and entitlement. My oldest does this too. Remember the days of our parents being able to monitor our phone calls and \"privacy\" was something we earned?
And I get that overwhelming sense of loss for no reason as well. I keep thinking it is my intuition sending me \"red flags\" but now I think my intuition is going haywire due to menopause.
Overall I just want to SCREAM \"GO YVETTE GO!!!\" Because you have some great goals and a great plan in place here! You can do this, but please, please, please, recheck that goal weight!!!
LOVE YOU!
I know what you mean about those mirrors. I hate to try clothes on and see myself in the full lenght mirror.
A \"bad\" mirror can be good if it\'s a wake-up call. When I moved into this apt. 3 years ago I was shocked at how I looked in the bathroom mirror. Most bathroom mirrors show us the upper body, but this one goes all the way to the lower belly and hips. NOT GOOD for coming nude out of shower. But I keep reminding myself that only one thing will help my reflection: LOSING POUNDS. Best wishes.
Take it one day at a time .. those fitting room mirrors play havoc on our minds.
You are doing great, keep up the great job.
Happy that David apologized and helped over the weekend.
I can COMPLETELY relate about the mirrors! Urgh! I had trouble sleeping b/c I was always thinking b/f bed and someone suggested that about 20 minutes b/f I go to bed to write all the stuff in head in a journal. It really worked! I just wrote it and then shredded it. Maybe that will work for you. Hang in there! I\'m here for you!