mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror

I was cast in a professional production of Godspell a few weeks ago and today we had our first strictly choreography rehearsal. We went to a dance studio . And if you've ever been in a dance studio, you know there is no where to look without seeing yourself. There are mirrors everywhere. You are everywhere. You can't hide from how you look.
All I see is a fat sad girl looking back at me, just going through the motions. I don't want to look like this. I shouldn't look like this. The only thing keeping me from being thinner is myself, I know that but shit... It's so frustrating! I would do anything to be thin. Anything. And it's not like I want my ribs to show or hip bones or anything like that. I want to look nice. I want to look healthy. Now I just look disgusting. Pathetic. Gross. Sad.
I look sad.