Minimalist Daughter... Hoarding Mother

My mom is somewhat of a hoarder. She isn't quite ready for the television show and so far I haven't found any dead cats buried beneath her piles... but her house and back yard are a MESS. It is the worst I've ever seen it. 

It doesn't bother me bc I don't live here. And she's always had to have a LOT of THINGS around her.. they are all connected to a memory... just like the tv show... but today I asked her if some of her clutter was bothering her. She said yes, that she was feeling bogged down. I wasn't mean to her about it bc I don't want to hurt her feelings.

And I know a lot of it is connected to Daddy being gone ... he died 7 years ago and she just buys stuff stuff stuff.. that's ok but now they are just in PILES everywhere.

The back patio was a MESS... broken junk and artiflcial plastic flowers everywhere. Just a junk pile. Pots pots pots and she doesn't plant flowers any more.... 

So I asked her if I could help her clean off the patio. And she said ok. The first thing I threw in the "trash" bin... she questioned and I respected it. But then I just sat down on the glider and stopped bc I am not going to argue with her. It's her stuff. It's not mine. So she said... ok... throw it away and whatever else you want to ... and I did . I threw 6 wagons full out from just a ten by fifteen area. And it's still full of stuff. But we worked for quite a while and got it all sprayed off and swept off. The side of the house sprayed down and all the patio furniture sprayed off. And then she put out some of her plastic flowers. She is putting out plastic flowers now and that's ok.... she likes them. But we threw the old faded ones out.

There was only ONE thing that she had me retrieve from the garbage. And only one more thing she questioned... but she let it go and I did dig out the ceramic pot from her sister from the garbage Dumpster. It looks much much better and now we can sit out and drink coffee during the day. I didn't throw out everything but set a lot of it OFF the patio so she can at least move around. 

Maybe we will tackle the living room tomorrow... she said that we could move some of that stuff out. It needs to go bc it is blocking her beautiful fireplace.

What's weird is my daughter is just like my mom... she does not know how to motivate to organize and she is really messy. She's a perfectionist and so is my mom. I'm not a perfectionist really... so I don't care if it's done perfectly.. I just do it... Mom and my daughter think it has to be PERFECT / whatever that is? / and they feel too overwhelmed to start. 

I've always been a self starter like my dad and brother. But Dad and my brother are perfectionist and can do a perfect job at anything they tackle. I am not good with detail. I see the whole picture. I don't see detail much... Hubby puts his head in the sand. And after knowing him as long as I have I know it's bc he does not have confidence and he procrastinates bc he thinks he won't do a good job. BC his dad TOLD him he did a crappy job at everything he did when he was a kid. He told all his boys that. I never knew his dad. I knew him alive but he had alzheimers so bad the last  five years of his life that he never understood who I was or the role I played in the family. He never knew my name or anything ... I wasn't in his long term memory so all he knew was I was the lady with the dogs.

So I never knew his REAL personality. 

Enough for tonight. It was a good day and we were productive and went to the Sonic together... tomorrow will be good too. 

Ginger