Mild Pain Morning 1/5/2014
So last night around 2am the pain was moderate but mosty tolerable and I was able to fall back to sleep. I woke up around 7:30am and the pain was mild. It's still there but mild so I will take that little win. Will it flair up again...maybe...but right now there is nothing I can do but deal.
Tuesday at 8:45am is my pain doc appointment. It's going to be -40 wind chills and a 5 minute walk from the parking lot...lucky me. I just pray to God it's worth the trip and he has some new options.
My therapist called and left a message just to see how I am doing. I'm going to call him Tuesday after my pain doc appointment. The problem with therapy with this pain is that all I can talk about is the stupid pain so I never get into my true mental issues which is what I need the therapist for.
The sick joke of this whole thing is that the pain takes my mind off of the mental issues like a backhanded compliment. I feel that if I can just relieve the pain that I can finally get started on really digging into the mental issues.
Thank God my meds have at least put me into a stable state of mind. I'm far from perfect but I'm far enough from the dark pit right now to feel mentally comfortable. The meds took me out of the ICU but the patient is still sick and needs more care.
I had to put more air in my car tires. Those stupid rims are bent but I'm not buying new rims for a 14 year old car. This Spring I'm going to buy a Nissan Juke. I've been saving for so long and it's time for a change. My little car has been the best I ever owned but at 14 years it can't live forever and it holds so many memories. Some good some bad but I need a fresh start with everything.
If I can just get this pain under control I'm going to re-evalulate my entire life. It's going to take a lot of therapy to get myself to where I want to be but this time I'm going to keep up with therapy and meds for the rest of my life. Depression is a life long illness and I need to treat it and maintain it so that it becomes a very small issue rather then defining my life.
God has given me support with family and friends. My friends here on DS are my biggest support because they actually understand where I'm coming from as they deal with the exact same issues. It's hard for normal people to ever understand the mind of depression. When I am thinking clearly it's actaully hard for me to believe my own mind when it's in that depressed or anxious state.
I think I'm just going to relax today. Play some video games and watch some football. Tomorrow I will lift weights and I'm hoping that I don't have to shovel as they are calling for 2 inches. I'm just nervous about my doc appointment Tuesday. I'm just praying to God for an answer for relief.
Tuesday at 8:45am is my pain doc appointment. It's going to be -40 wind chills and a 5 minute walk from the parking lot...lucky me. I just pray to God it's worth the trip and he has some new options.
My therapist called and left a message just to see how I am doing. I'm going to call him Tuesday after my pain doc appointment. The problem with therapy with this pain is that all I can talk about is the stupid pain so I never get into my true mental issues which is what I need the therapist for.
The sick joke of this whole thing is that the pain takes my mind off of the mental issues like a backhanded compliment. I feel that if I can just relieve the pain that I can finally get started on really digging into the mental issues.
Thank God my meds have at least put me into a stable state of mind. I'm far from perfect but I'm far enough from the dark pit right now to feel mentally comfortable. The meds took me out of the ICU but the patient is still sick and needs more care.
I had to put more air in my car tires. Those stupid rims are bent but I'm not buying new rims for a 14 year old car. This Spring I'm going to buy a Nissan Juke. I've been saving for so long and it's time for a change. My little car has been the best I ever owned but at 14 years it can't live forever and it holds so many memories. Some good some bad but I need a fresh start with everything.
If I can just get this pain under control I'm going to re-evalulate my entire life. It's going to take a lot of therapy to get myself to where I want to be but this time I'm going to keep up with therapy and meds for the rest of my life. Depression is a life long illness and I need to treat it and maintain it so that it becomes a very small issue rather then defining my life.
God has given me support with family and friends. My friends here on DS are my biggest support because they actually understand where I'm coming from as they deal with the exact same issues. It's hard for normal people to ever understand the mind of depression. When I am thinking clearly it's actaully hard for me to believe my own mind when it's in that depressed or anxious state.
I think I'm just going to relax today. Play some video games and watch some football. Tomorrow I will lift weights and I'm hoping that I don't have to shovel as they are calling for 2 inches. I'm just nervous about my doc appointment Tuesday. I'm just praying to God for an answer for relief.
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