middle son
After 5 days of binge drinking it seems like things have settled down a bit with our middle son, JM. Thankfully, he can talk to us and even listen to what we gently say to him - unlike our youngest - T-Man.
As depressed as JM looks and says he is ~ we're seeing signs that they aren't as bad as it could be. For the summer he wants to go and live with his grandparents (my in-laws) out of state - work for them (they own a business) and help them around their house - inside and out. He says he wants to get away from his friends because of the temptations that make him want to drink. Grandparents don't know about JM's drinking problem because we've told them way too much as it is and we don't want to burden them. On the other hand - if JM insists on asking them - he'll have to tell them. I remember how nervous they were when they found out about T-Man when we were planning on staying with them a few years back. My mother-in-law is a recovering alcohol (30+) but my father in-law likes to drink (he doesn't have a problem) and I know that they will feel uncomfortable - having to hide liquor and the fact that our son has a problem. I will let things happen and not worry about the what-if's - because I know things can change.
Another sign that makes me think that JM is going to survive this break up is - he's making plans to study abroad. He wants to go to Berlin. I would love it for him but I have concerns about his drinking. Slowly but carefully I am letting him know about my concerns. I told him that he'll have to tackle this drinking problem once school is out.
Just rambling I guess. That is far in the future but at some point my husband (who doesn't like to plan) will have to face it. Somewhere in the middle....
As depressed as JM looks and says he is ~ we're seeing signs that they aren't as bad as it could be. For the summer he wants to go and live with his grandparents (my in-laws) out of state - work for them (they own a business) and help them around their house - inside and out. He says he wants to get away from his friends because of the temptations that make him want to drink. Grandparents don't know about JM's drinking problem because we've told them way too much as it is and we don't want to burden them. On the other hand - if JM insists on asking them - he'll have to tell them. I remember how nervous they were when they found out about T-Man when we were planning on staying with them a few years back. My mother-in-law is a recovering alcohol (30+) but my father in-law likes to drink (he doesn't have a problem) and I know that they will feel uncomfortable - having to hide liquor and the fact that our son has a problem. I will let things happen and not worry about the what-if's - because I know things can change.
Another sign that makes me think that JM is going to survive this break up is - he's making plans to study abroad. He wants to go to Berlin. I would love it for him but I have concerns about his drinking. Slowly but carefully I am letting him know about my concerns. I told him that he'll have to tackle this drinking problem once school is out.
Just rambling I guess. That is far in the future but at some point my husband (who doesn't like to plan) will have to face it. Somewhere in the middle....
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