Mid February Blah
Hi Darlin'
I remember ho many times I've heard you say that to me. I have to smile thru the tears. I am trying so hard to build a new me, a life without you here. I know that is what you wanted me to do. You told me so often that I had to go on. I had to find someone to share my life with. I always told you that you would be by my side forever. I would go first. You were so strong, so healthy. I didn't want anyone else and still don't.
We were the perfect team. We did it all together. Could finish each others sentences, and knew exactly what the other was doing even when we were in different places. We were truly soul mates. i miss that. I miss you. I can't believe i will ever quit missing you.
We were blessed with friends. One of our friends has kept in touch. We talk at least weekly usually for over a hour. It is good to talk to him about what's going on in my life and hear what's going on in his.
I am trying to get out of the house. Not doing too good at that. I am leaving the house once every week or two. I've taught one baking class and will teach another this week. I hav e extreme anxiety prior but enjoy the class. I am going to the library this week. I haven't read anything but grief books since you've been gone. Remember how I would read 4 or 4 books a week? I'm going to try to reclaim my joy in books.
I am finding peace and solace here at DS WW.i just would give anything to have you back at my side. I will live you forever?
I remember ho many times I've heard you say that to me. I have to smile thru the tears. I am trying so hard to build a new me, a life without you here. I know that is what you wanted me to do. You told me so often that I had to go on. I had to find someone to share my life with. I always told you that you would be by my side forever. I would go first. You were so strong, so healthy. I didn't want anyone else and still don't.
We were the perfect team. We did it all together. Could finish each others sentences, and knew exactly what the other was doing even when we were in different places. We were truly soul mates. i miss that. I miss you. I can't believe i will ever quit missing you.
We were blessed with friends. One of our friends has kept in touch. We talk at least weekly usually for over a hour. It is good to talk to him about what's going on in my life and hear what's going on in his.
I am trying to get out of the house. Not doing too good at that. I am leaving the house once every week or two. I've taught one baking class and will teach another this week. I hav e extreme anxiety prior but enjoy the class. I am going to the library this week. I haven't read anything but grief books since you've been gone. Remember how I would read 4 or 4 books a week? I'm going to try to reclaim my joy in books.
I am finding peace and solace here at DS WW.i just would give anything to have you back at my side. I will live you forever?
Replies
I know you miss him so much, Bailey. It is such a hard road. I had a very hard time being able to read in the months after my husband\'s death. Could not concentrate enough to read anything. This is difficult for one who has always been an avid reader. That was several yrs. ago, and now due to other emotional upheaval in my life, I am not reading much these days. I know it will pass. Glad that Daily Strength is a good place for you!
Hang in there Bailey, you will make it, we all will. I understand still loving him, I do too and I am still in love with him. Hugs and love, Michele
When two people build their lives around each other and become the other-half of each other...they naturally put the other\'s needs before their own. When you tell each other, \"yes, don\'t be lonely, find someone\", that is each of you doing what I just said...putting each other\'s needs before your own. But when you say, \"I could not, because there is no one for me but you\"... that is WHY you are the other half of each other.
The decision cannot fit into any rule-of-thumb definition of right-or-wrong.
It can only be resolved by each person in their own way.