Met with the Surgeon today

It was a gorgous day in NJ/NY today, 62 degress in february, who knew?!?!
Anywho...I went back into the city today to met with the surgeon today to discuss whether or not to get surgery. I knew she was petite, but wow, she was just as short as I am and is as big around as my pink (pre-prednisone) haha.
I really really like her, she was very informative and was impressed that I did my homework (thanks guys!) She did want to check my rectum muscles and also used a camera and took a little biopsy, to check the muscus. Not very comfortable, but it was kinda cool to see my insides and this little claw take a chunck out of me without feeling it, Butt she did say my muscles are strong so thats good....
Anyway, I was approved by my insurance company to get remicade at every 4 weeks, so the nurse is coming to my house tomorrow night to give me the I get the infusion tomorrow and I will be off prednisone in a few days!!! Thank god! But if I start to flare before 4 weeks is up then that def means surgery.
I have to be honest though, I was not happy when I left her office today. I'm tired of playing around with all these meds and having my life on hold, not knowing how I am going to feel the next day. I am afraid that the remicade will only work (if at all) for a little bit and then I'll be back where I was, starting a new job but not enough to get benefits or long enough for them to keep me there if something happends. I honestly just wanted to get this over with and start my life fresh....No stress, a new job, a neww me per say....I'm just in a spot in my life where this is a good time to have the surgery rather than later. I'm not tied down to any bills like rent, even though my boyfriend and I want to get our own place because my parents are driving us nuts!!!! And I don't want to start a new job like this, But I guess I've waited this long, 4 more weeks wont kill me...but if it doesn't work, or I guess I decide to do the surgery anyway, then it's signing away on some consent forms for surgery.
The surgeon is really good at what she does...She told me she gave a woman that was a belly dancer a total colectomy and her stoma was in her belly button so she wouldn't have scaring and when she was healed, you never knew that she had a major surgery. Thats insane!
I can't wait to get off prednisone though! Lately I've been sooo thirsty at night that I get up alot at night because I've had so much to drink before bed. Plus I've been radiating heat like the sun that I wake up drenched in sweat! Usually my boyfriend is the one thats soo hot and I'm always cold, but now its the complete opposite. I'm starting to get really big again and my face is rounding out....when does it end?