Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to Everyone...... This month has been a whirl wind of activity.  It seems that December has just flew by like the speed of light.  I have done pretty well with shopping, baking, wrapping.  I was overwhelmed last weekend, even breaking down yelling at my husband that I'm a fool to do all this because know one cares if it gets done at all.  I am truly blessed this holiday season, but at times I am lonely.  My husband seems to make work his top priority, working 60 hours a week.  My kids of course are involved in their activities.  They can't always be helping me.  Sometimes I wonder what do I have that is for me.  I feel the answer is not much.  Since moving here 4 years ago I can say I do not have any friends.  The girls I work with I love, but we work together and not much of anything else.  I have formed no relationship with other ladies.  I just don't seem to know where I am headed.  At times I feel as if my husband and I are leading separate lives.  He's caught up in his work and I'm caught up with the kids and the house.  When we will make time for each other?  We did have a nice evening tonight.  We had our family Christmas.  My husband did get me a heart pendant which is beautiful.  We had a terrific time together, but it seems so infrequent that we enjoy each others company.  We will travel on the 23rd to spend time with our families in Michigan.  I look forward to the trip.  Michigan is still home and where I feel I fit in.  I just can't get that feeling here. I see the doctor on January 4 for blood markers.  I pray everything is good, but there are days I have an odd ache or pain and wonder if it is the cancer coming back.  This week my arm is sore on my cancer side, what does that mean?  It's hard to deal with all the what ifs. I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a New Year with good health, peace and happiness.  I hope we continue to support each other in all our trials and tribulations and I thank all of you for your hugs and support.  They mean more to me than you will ever know.  DS can be a place where I fit in and I thank you all for that.