Mental Illness
Let's get rid of the guns, scream the headlines. And I'm thinking, why aren't they asking to bring back the mental institutions instead. Because that's what's needed to keep people from killing the innocent.
I just finished reading an article written by a woman who has a mentally ill child. It's titled 'I am Adam Lanza's Mother," But it's not about the real mother of Adam Lanza, it's about a woman who has a child that is like Adam. In the article she details the struggle she undertakes trying to get help for her son. In short, there is none. Hasn't been since the 1980s when mental health facilities were shuttered and prison used in their stead. Basically, if you have a mentally challenged person in your life there is nothing you can do until they commit a crime. It's not like the old days when you could go to a hospital and have a loved one committed just on your say so.
Now, I'm not saying we should go back to those days. I remember hearing about the horrors Francis Farmer, an actress of the 1930s suffered after her father had her committed. still, something must be done. Look at the mall shooting, the theater shooting, the school shootings. Did you know there was a hospital shooting a few days ago? It was sort of buried in the paper because the school shooting was so much worse.
I don't have a mentally ill child. But I know what it's like to know that you can't get help because there is no help...unless you can prove it. And the mentally ill are very smart. They're not going to confess to wanting to kill people. They're not going to tell you about the legal guns they have in their house or the fact that they know how to get illegal guns. No. They're going to sit in front of the judge or whoever and look perfectly normal. They're going to smile and make small talk and at the end of it, maybe even convince the judge that it is you with the problem.
Then one day they're on the front page of a newspaper and people ask why didn't someone do something? Why didn't a family member say something?
But we did say something?
And were told that the person has to commit a crime first?
And now we're all sitting here with tears in our eyes asking Why?
So, let me tell you about my journey. Mom stayed with dad because he threatened to kill her whole family if she didn't . He held a gun to my grandmother and mother's head to prove he was serious.
Mom passed away over a decade ago. Now, 85 year old dad is my responsibility. And he's still threatening, only it's not just me--it's friends, neighbors, the total stranger that makes him mad. He's admitted to his illness, saying that he's going to cure himself.
Did you know that a person can't be forced to take medication? Did you know you can't just restrain a person? Well, that's the reality for caregivers like me. We can't do anything. Don't believe it? Well, call a lawyer. I did and was told that unless I could prove my father was sick and dangerous, I could do nothing until he does something.
You're probably thinking that maybe I could record him. Get the proof that way. I thought so too, so I did, until I read that it is illegal to record a person in the state of Illinois unless they give permission.
Which means dear old dad can have me locked up for recording him. But I can't have him locked up for threatening to kill the next door neighbor.
So, what can I do to protect the world from my father?
This is what I'm doing. My doctor told me that people like my father are more likely to hurt someone close to them than a total stranger. That makes sense since he never went after anyone but my mother and her family. Now there is only dad and me, the rest of his family having abandoned him. So, with that in mind I came up with a plan. The doctor told me to stay away from him. But I'm not. Because if I'm not there, then someone else has to be in harms way. Instead I visit him, putting myself in harms way. Because at the end of the day I'm not going to let some unsuspecting person get killed because our system let them down. I'd rather die by his hands first. Maybe then he'll get help.
Here's a link to the article:
http://now.msn.com/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-says-mom-of-mentally-ill-son
I just finished reading an article written by a woman who has a mentally ill child. It's titled 'I am Adam Lanza's Mother," But it's not about the real mother of Adam Lanza, it's about a woman who has a child that is like Adam. In the article she details the struggle she undertakes trying to get help for her son. In short, there is none. Hasn't been since the 1980s when mental health facilities were shuttered and prison used in their stead. Basically, if you have a mentally challenged person in your life there is nothing you can do until they commit a crime. It's not like the old days when you could go to a hospital and have a loved one committed just on your say so.
Now, I'm not saying we should go back to those days. I remember hearing about the horrors Francis Farmer, an actress of the 1930s suffered after her father had her committed. still, something must be done. Look at the mall shooting, the theater shooting, the school shootings. Did you know there was a hospital shooting a few days ago? It was sort of buried in the paper because the school shooting was so much worse.
I don't have a mentally ill child. But I know what it's like to know that you can't get help because there is no help...unless you can prove it. And the mentally ill are very smart. They're not going to confess to wanting to kill people. They're not going to tell you about the legal guns they have in their house or the fact that they know how to get illegal guns. No. They're going to sit in front of the judge or whoever and look perfectly normal. They're going to smile and make small talk and at the end of it, maybe even convince the judge that it is you with the problem.
Then one day they're on the front page of a newspaper and people ask why didn't someone do something? Why didn't a family member say something?
But we did say something?
And were told that the person has to commit a crime first?
And now we're all sitting here with tears in our eyes asking Why?
So, let me tell you about my journey. Mom stayed with dad because he threatened to kill her whole family if she didn't . He held a gun to my grandmother and mother's head to prove he was serious.
Mom passed away over a decade ago. Now, 85 year old dad is my responsibility. And he's still threatening, only it's not just me--it's friends, neighbors, the total stranger that makes him mad. He's admitted to his illness, saying that he's going to cure himself.
Did you know that a person can't be forced to take medication? Did you know you can't just restrain a person? Well, that's the reality for caregivers like me. We can't do anything. Don't believe it? Well, call a lawyer. I did and was told that unless I could prove my father was sick and dangerous, I could do nothing until he does something.
You're probably thinking that maybe I could record him. Get the proof that way. I thought so too, so I did, until I read that it is illegal to record a person in the state of Illinois unless they give permission.
Which means dear old dad can have me locked up for recording him. But I can't have him locked up for threatening to kill the next door neighbor.
So, what can I do to protect the world from my father?
This is what I'm doing. My doctor told me that people like my father are more likely to hurt someone close to them than a total stranger. That makes sense since he never went after anyone but my mother and her family. Now there is only dad and me, the rest of his family having abandoned him. So, with that in mind I came up with a plan. The doctor told me to stay away from him. But I'm not. Because if I'm not there, then someone else has to be in harms way. Instead I visit him, putting myself in harms way. Because at the end of the day I'm not going to let some unsuspecting person get killed because our system let them down. I'd rather die by his hands first. Maybe then he'll get help.
Here's a link to the article:
http://now.msn.com/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-says-mom-of-mentally-ill-son
Replies
Your post expresses my sentiments exactly, In the early 80\'s the opened the doors to the institutions and said, be gone with you you are on your own. Until this country takes a look at how we treat those that have mental health issues....because currently they are just ignored...and the addiction issues we will never see any change. Our country\'s montra seems to be let them live on the street homeless or just put em in jail....we can see where that has gotten us...oh surprise we need to build more prisons.
sorry I am ranting now I will step down from my soap box....
Yep, I agree as well. Guns are not the problem.