Mental Attitude means everything
When some people get really, really old they remember only parts of their life and ramble on about just that portion? I prey God's blessing is to allow me to forget this part.
Twenty one days till court, daughter has been clean since Aug as far as I know. I'm trying to be positive she will get her children back, but I'm also afraid of being positive because something has always put the brakes on. Of course it's something stupid she has gotten herself into that has done it, like her continued weed smoking... What a roller coaster ride!
What have I learned? I have learned a whole lot about myself and my world around me. The things I thought I knew I liked not only benefited me but wasn't just about me they were for my family too... So I thought!
In my mind, I thought me cleaning the home was pride and it also was a way for me to feel uncluttered and the children to feel comfortable and not be embarrassed to have friends over. I found, cleaning the home is my way of working out my stress, feeling in control in an out of control environment. Oh, and allowing me to work out my frustrations with the kids and husband without killing them! What's sad is... I've always have had a clean home! so where do I go from here? Well there's clean and then there's clean. I decided as long as filth is not the issue then the house will come as I have time. I had one of those so called friends come over last weekend, the one who hasn't had much to do with us since we became parents 6 years ago. Just stopped in! The house wasn't filth but it wasn't up to "me". First thing out of her mouth when she came into the door...Are you not feeling well, or just being lazy today? I'm laughing as I type this!
Which brings me to friends. People are busy these days. I'm busy your busy, life in general is busy. My husband is my best friend and as long as I have him I have my best friend..Right? Wrong! I learned that I'm my best friend, and as long as I treat myself as my best friend it will pay it forward! If I abuse me, I abuse my friendship! People come and go in our lives. Some take, others give and likewise. I never once met anyone of you on this forum, but yet we have a common bond and that bond made us all friends. We take and give, we laugh and we cry together for each other. The world is big, but it's also a small world after all.
Remember leave it to Beaver? I wanted to be a wife and mother just like Mrs. Clever! I did have that at one time, stay at home mom and wife. Then the world changed and I had to change with it. I tried kicking and screaming in protest, but it didn't work. The kids grew up and I went to work. I remember when family courts were for the really bad family's and when CPS was involved you stayed away from that family they are BAD news! Remember when a girl would get pregnant out of wedlock and she would go away to "school" to have the baby for adoption or without even knowing "Auntie" all of a suddenly had a baby. Where did the baby come from and when is Sally coming home from school? Families took care of family. Internal issues where not for anyone but that family... I wonder how the courts and CPS got so in control. And here we are Grandparents wanting to take our grandchildren in, and love them and nurture them, asking only the blessing to allow us this gift we can give. We are given instead, sign forms, fax form, refax forms, go to court, more court ,more forms to refax, pay a lawyer, put up with bios, put up with bio-in-laws, did I mention go to court? Ok..ok...ok, so after the court system, CPS and Bios are done is there anything left for you and the kids? I've learned THAT part of the outside world is a BUSINESS and to treat it like a business.
To my Adult children, You kids stole my heart the very first day I heard yours beating inside of me. I raised you the best I knew how with the tools I had at the time. I'm not perfect and if I did anything to wrong you, know I did not do intentionally. I would never, ever knowingly do you harm. I have learned, At this time I can't forgive you for what you knowing put inside your body at the times you were nurturing your children inside of you. I'm proud of you for overcoming the drugs and I know you're working very hard at being a good mom for your children. I like the you, you've become and I'd like that person to stick around cause I'd sure like to get to know her better if you don't mind. Son, I can't forgive you for disowning your daughter after a stranger took her innocents away and she needed her Daddy the most. I guess the only thing I can say to you son, you're missing out on a very special time in your daughters life.
I hope some of you got a chuckle out of some of what I learned, maybe some of you will see yourself and some of what I learned will assist you on your journey. Twenty one more days and Guess what I learned?
Twenty one days till court, daughter has been clean since Aug as far as I know. I'm trying to be positive she will get her children back, but I'm also afraid of being positive because something has always put the brakes on. Of course it's something stupid she has gotten herself into that has done it, like her continued weed smoking... What a roller coaster ride!
What have I learned? I have learned a whole lot about myself and my world around me. The things I thought I knew I liked not only benefited me but wasn't just about me they were for my family too... So I thought!
In my mind, I thought me cleaning the home was pride and it also was a way for me to feel uncluttered and the children to feel comfortable and not be embarrassed to have friends over. I found, cleaning the home is my way of working out my stress, feeling in control in an out of control environment. Oh, and allowing me to work out my frustrations with the kids and husband without killing them! What's sad is... I've always have had a clean home! so where do I go from here? Well there's clean and then there's clean. I decided as long as filth is not the issue then the house will come as I have time. I had one of those so called friends come over last weekend, the one who hasn't had much to do with us since we became parents 6 years ago. Just stopped in! The house wasn't filth but it wasn't up to "me". First thing out of her mouth when she came into the door...Are you not feeling well, or just being lazy today? I'm laughing as I type this!
Which brings me to friends. People are busy these days. I'm busy your busy, life in general is busy. My husband is my best friend and as long as I have him I have my best friend..Right? Wrong! I learned that I'm my best friend, and as long as I treat myself as my best friend it will pay it forward! If I abuse me, I abuse my friendship! People come and go in our lives. Some take, others give and likewise. I never once met anyone of you on this forum, but yet we have a common bond and that bond made us all friends. We take and give, we laugh and we cry together for each other. The world is big, but it's also a small world after all.
Remember leave it to Beaver? I wanted to be a wife and mother just like Mrs. Clever! I did have that at one time, stay at home mom and wife. Then the world changed and I had to change with it. I tried kicking and screaming in protest, but it didn't work. The kids grew up and I went to work. I remember when family courts were for the really bad family's and when CPS was involved you stayed away from that family they are BAD news! Remember when a girl would get pregnant out of wedlock and she would go away to "school" to have the baby for adoption or without even knowing "Auntie" all of a suddenly had a baby. Where did the baby come from and when is Sally coming home from school? Families took care of family. Internal issues where not for anyone but that family... I wonder how the courts and CPS got so in control. And here we are Grandparents wanting to take our grandchildren in, and love them and nurture them, asking only the blessing to allow us this gift we can give. We are given instead, sign forms, fax form, refax forms, go to court, more court ,more forms to refax, pay a lawyer, put up with bios, put up with bio-in-laws, did I mention go to court? Ok..ok...ok, so after the court system, CPS and Bios are done is there anything left for you and the kids? I've learned THAT part of the outside world is a BUSINESS and to treat it like a business.
To my Adult children, You kids stole my heart the very first day I heard yours beating inside of me. I raised you the best I knew how with the tools I had at the time. I'm not perfect and if I did anything to wrong you, know I did not do intentionally. I would never, ever knowingly do you harm. I have learned, At this time I can't forgive you for what you knowing put inside your body at the times you were nurturing your children inside of you. I'm proud of you for overcoming the drugs and I know you're working very hard at being a good mom for your children. I like the you, you've become and I'd like that person to stick around cause I'd sure like to get to know her better if you don't mind. Son, I can't forgive you for disowning your daughter after a stranger took her innocents away and she needed her Daddy the most. I guess the only thing I can say to you son, you're missing out on a very special time in your daughters life.
I hope some of you got a chuckle out of some of what I learned, maybe some of you will see yourself and some of what I learned will assist you on your journey. Twenty one more days and Guess what I learned?
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