MEN SUCK !!!!
Ok so I was already having a hard time staying positive because my ex is messing with my head. I am also friends with the guy who was my first ever bf many yrs ago. Two years ago he found me on FB & we started talking agine. He wanted to try a relationship agine & I was like NO WAY !! However I did say we could be friends. He has still tried to get me to sleep with him which is so NOT going to happen. Then the other night I found out he ad a kid with another women while we were together. Together as in engaged to be married. Yeah I know it was 20 yrs ago & in all honesty if we hadent been talking this last few yrs I seriously doubt I would care. However I have been a pretty good friend to him & we have talked a lot about the past & he always says how much he loved me & how special I was to him. Also I have been trying to help him be more positive about himself , heck I even gave him money this yr to get his kids xmas gifts because he just didn't have it !! NOW I find this out & hes all totally like its no big deal !!! No look im really sorry I was stupid & a ass no nothing like that. He acted like whats the big deal ??? IDK that we were engaged to be married & that I loved & trusted you & you screwed around on me ??? IDK why that might upset me even if it was a long time ago. Anyway that whole frustrated thing is just boiling over !!! I understand it is what it is & it was in the past but seriously Im just sick & tired of all men turning out to be total shits even when you thought they wernt !!! Needless to say any desire to help him in totally gone !!! Uggggg just frustrated & yes pissed off too. It is so incredibly sad to realize how hard it is to find a decent person that is not a drug addict, or alcoholic, & has there head on decently & there life somewhat together & is able to give & receive love !!!! I know I will get over this too & thing will get better & look better. I know it will take a few days or weeks lol . I just have to find other things to do so I don't just sit around & think too much. It is healthy to think some & to deal with the issue but not ok to get to the point of obcessing over it !!!! It ok to vent & feel bad & cry or yell or whatever but then you need to take deep breaths & put it where it belongs in the past & move forward agine !!!!! So deep breaths & time to find something positive to put my energies toward :)