Memory loss

When I was little, I would often lose time. My mom never noticed, not even to think I was a flake. She never noticed me at all, really. She is still completely self involved which is why I don't see her. I don't remember anything happening to me when I was very little. I was very shy and didn't trust anyone, not even my parents. I played with other kids but I wouldn't say they were my friends. I didn't care about any of them, they were just there and so I played with them. When I was older, I was angry and paranoid. I hated everyone and everything. I remember in the third grade, I went out to play after lunch, and sat on a swing, and the next thing I remember I looked around and everyone was gone. I went inside and realized I had missed an entire class. Weird how no one noticed I wasn't there? I was so freaked! That was the First time I realized that something was wrong. It was also when I realized that no one cared about me. It wasn't all in my head, it was real. No one cared what happened to me. So why should I? When I get stressed I still lose time. The bigger the stress, the more crazy the loss of time. They realized I shouldn't deal with my event when I came to, shopping in a store I had never been in before. I checked my account and I was almost broke. I had been going around, shopping and eating my way through the city all day. I remember how embarrassing it was, walking up to an employee asking them where I was. Crazy. I was able to get some of the money back, but I will never know what I did that day, or maybe who I did that day. I hate that it happens, but I also hate that it means that being tortured as an adult wasn't the first time something bad happened to me. And that I will never know when or what or who. So I pray:
Brigid, please be with us women. Give us the strength to carry on. Give us the power to protect ourselves. And, help us to heal from the wounds caused by men. -BB