memories that wont go away

i want them to stop so much. how can i do this, how much longer can i take the pain .i thought all yesturday all i want is to talk to my mom and tell her but i caint i just caint , she thinks its her fault how i been for how many years but its not her its theres all of them , now i just want to confront at least one of them more or less all of them to find out what they were thinking when they did what they did ... to me they made bad memories for me  i dont even know how to short my thoughts any more i want them to end