Memories of this day
Oh Roger I just remembered this weekend you would be our clubs golf archery shoot. Last year you and Emily won the Horse round. Your first and last. It was your last golf shoot of the clubs. I did go to the banquet, it was ok just not the same.
You would have set up your course last night, had a few drinks with the guys, got up this morning had a big outdoor breakfast in our camper, signed in some shooters and probably been out on one course by now.
I would probably just now be getting in, walking with you to shoot after feeding animals I would drive up there as we no longer had anyone to watch the animals.
We would have sat around, eating and conversing with our archery friends and shooters we see regularly.
I can not believe I almost forgot it. I was so ignoring this day Roger just trying to forget it. I did not want to memoralize you, I wanted to just not think of that word memorial. I started thinking of what we usually did on this day and it dawned on me I forgot the clubs archery shoot. I should have driven up there, and watched or signed in shooters but I think it would be too sad. It was our last shoot together.
Moms in the hospital unexpected so guess I won't drive up there anyway.
I am sure you watching everyone shoot - and watching over them. I miss them, it seems I am not a part of them anymore by myself and does not seem I am a part of anything we had together anymore. I just do not fit in any group category anymore, I do not know where i belong. Will you point me in where to belong? You are in Heaven and I know you are happy can you please show me where I can go to get there too?
I am just sitting around doing nothing....just nothing....I am stuck I need to go forward but there is nothing here to go forward with. There is so much to do before I can sell our place and move, It seems with no one but me to do it...it will take forever I am so discouraged....please send me some one to help me....Ask God to help me. I ask but do not feel connected somehow.
I miss you, I want to be at the Archery shoot with you.
You would have set up your course last night, had a few drinks with the guys, got up this morning had a big outdoor breakfast in our camper, signed in some shooters and probably been out on one course by now.
I would probably just now be getting in, walking with you to shoot after feeding animals I would drive up there as we no longer had anyone to watch the animals.
We would have sat around, eating and conversing with our archery friends and shooters we see regularly.
I can not believe I almost forgot it. I was so ignoring this day Roger just trying to forget it. I did not want to memoralize you, I wanted to just not think of that word memorial. I started thinking of what we usually did on this day and it dawned on me I forgot the clubs archery shoot. I should have driven up there, and watched or signed in shooters but I think it would be too sad. It was our last shoot together.
Moms in the hospital unexpected so guess I won't drive up there anyway.
I am sure you watching everyone shoot - and watching over them. I miss them, it seems I am not a part of them anymore by myself and does not seem I am a part of anything we had together anymore. I just do not fit in any group category anymore, I do not know where i belong. Will you point me in where to belong? You are in Heaven and I know you are happy can you please show me where I can go to get there too?
I am just sitting around doing nothing....just nothing....I am stuck I need to go forward but there is nothing here to go forward with. There is so much to do before I can sell our place and move, It seems with no one but me to do it...it will take forever I am so discouraged....please send me some one to help me....Ask God to help me. I ask but do not feel connected somehow.
I miss you, I want to be at the Archery shoot with you.
Replies
I am very sorry. Hang in there. Do you have a local Church group or community service that could possibly help you? There should be some kind of volunteer community in your area? Maybe some students that will work for a low wage? I will pray for you not to be so overwhelmed. Take a breath and relax God will take of you. He\'s always is there for us and it will work out. hugs Edie
I so understand. We just can\'t let the sadness keep us stuck. It will debilitate us. I am dealing with the same thoughts . . . where do I belong? I am going to church tomorrow, actually forcing myself, as I don\'t feel connected there either right now. We can draw strength from each other just by thinking about our words and what we are each going through. We are not alone and our loved ones want us to move on. I am sure of that.
Hugs,
Lindanne
I think it may have been a way of self - preservation. I found that if I tried to go ballgames (my husband was a coach) i was \"crazy\" afterwards. I still knew the ballgames were going on if I didn\'t go but it helped me to not be present. Perhaps this is your inner self trying to save you from more heartache by allowing you to forget it for a little while.
Hugs to you.. Rhonda
What a sad day for you! I am so sorry. Gene and I didn\'t do anything special for Memorial Day, except he would go with me sometimes when I put flowers on my family graves, and sometimes we would drive up to Bode where is family is (and he is also now.) It does get easier once all your \"firsts\" are over. Know that I am thinking of you today. Julie
I understand how you feel about being stuck and not belonging - it is the same for me. On Memorial Day we always wet to the cemetry together and this year I had to go alone. I hate being along or is I just miss Duane so very much. People say things will get better and I hope that for you and me - God be with you