Melt Down--Heart breaks--Piece of Pizza
happened last night. It's cold. It's snowy. It's icy..so we ordered Pizza...getting Abby's food together...getting my cola and plate. I opened the door going into the garage to tell the driver to be safe..walking back into the Kitchen it Happened...
I reached to get a piece of Pizza...the Searing Pain is ripping my Heart again ...Tears are Streaming and falling into my Pizza...I say to my Husband, the Pizza did it...he looks at me and sees the tears and knows what I mean..all the searing pain I feel again ripping my heart into pieces..the tears do not stop..my husband knows what is wrong but ask me "Why the Pizza". I share with him, when Ken would do three jobs and the last one would be Pizza Delivery To keep his little family going...and when I would visit I would wait until he got home very late, very tired, but going to get up and doing it all again the next day..even though he was young, I know the pressure of working three jobs..no food fixed for him after a long hours of work..took its toll on him. As the years past, Iam not sure he ever recovered from the many houes he put in and very little sleep...The stress he was always under, even after the Cancer can really put harm on the body.
Five years now and not crying like I used to. But never know when a word, a picture, a look, a Pizza will bring it back to surface...and the Heart will ache, the tears will flow, the whys will come again...a Pizza just brought all the Pain to the Surface once again.
thanks for listening, Sandi
I reached to get a piece of Pizza...the Searing Pain is ripping my Heart again ...Tears are Streaming and falling into my Pizza...I say to my Husband, the Pizza did it...he looks at me and sees the tears and knows what I mean..all the searing pain I feel again ripping my heart into pieces..the tears do not stop..my husband knows what is wrong but ask me "Why the Pizza". I share with him, when Ken would do three jobs and the last one would be Pizza Delivery To keep his little family going...and when I would visit I would wait until he got home very late, very tired, but going to get up and doing it all again the next day..even though he was young, I know the pressure of working three jobs..no food fixed for him after a long hours of work..took its toll on him. As the years past, Iam not sure he ever recovered from the many houes he put in and very little sleep...The stress he was always under, even after the Cancer can really put harm on the body.
Five years now and not crying like I used to. But never know when a word, a picture, a look, a Pizza will bring it back to surface...and the Heart will ache, the tears will flow, the whys will come again...a Pizza just brought all the Pain to the Surface once again.
thanks for listening, Sandi
Replies
Dear Ken... Working SO very hard to provide for his family. It is heartfelt when these triggers come our way, whether it\'s a song, a fragrance, a piece of pizza, a feather floating out of no where to land on our path... I share those tears with you dear Sandi, and believe they will always be there because of our deep and abiding love and longing for our children.
Allowing the pain to surface and to express itself IS the healing. Keep sharing as you are.
Hand in hand and Heart to heart with SO much understanding,
XO Joanie
So very sorry for the hurt you feel. Hoping for some peace today. Hugs, Kathy
I am so sorry my friend. Sending love and hugs, Paula
It can happen out of the blue can\'t it? Hope today is a gentle day for you.
Just when you don\'t expect it - the tears start, the gut wrenching pain....SIGH... Praying for moments of peace for you. (((hugs))) Vicki
I know, Sandi. The littlest things can trigger all the pain again. What a wonderful
man Ken was...always looking out for the needs of his loved ones.
Gentle hugs of understanding.. Linda
So sorry for your pain.
Oh Sandi, I think all of these kinds of triggers will last a lifetime. While we breathe, we will always miss our children that have passed with our whole heart, mind and soul.
Sending you a tight understanding hug dear friend.
Diane
Oh Sandi. I hear you. Those triggers are heart wrenching.
Tight hugs, M
Sending you tight hugs. It is like PTSD, you never know when it will hit. It just does.
Hope your week improves.
Penny