Meds or not to meds?
I hope this is a helpful entry. I know there are many of us moms who have had a child or children pass and after a tragedy like that it has come up over & over - should I try some medication? I will just share my experience. Immediately after Eddie passed suddenly my doctor gave me Ativan- which is an anti-anxiety medication. I used it mostly to help me sleep & and on occasion for anxiety during the day. I can assure you it helped. When I didn't take it I was a mess. I didn't sleep & cried all night. After 11 months I was able to wean myself off it & I now take melatonin for sleep.
I began to take Zoloft, an anti-depressant in December of 09. It helped take the edge off my emotional pain & helped me to focus at work. I had to stop taking it about 2 weeks ago due to my stomach problems and have found myself crying on the way to & from work & again having many meltdowns. I realized that I needed to go back on it & have reintroduced it as of Tuesday. I will take it as long as I need to because it helps me function & like all of you, function we must. I will take it the rest of my life if I need to. I am on a low dosage, Zoloft doesn't contribute to weight gain, and unlike the Ativan, it is not habit forming.
As a Mental Health worker I see the good many medications do for my clients. This is just my experience. Your doctor and/or psychiatrist can help you decide what, if any medications are helpful. I also went to grief counseling for one year and I was blessed to have a very skilled counselor whose help was invaluable.
I do feel just OK most of the time, but the Zoloft seems to help my emotions stay more manageable. I wish you all the best in finding what works for you on this heartbreaking road we travel.
As an aside my granddaughter Christina is still carrying the baby. Every day Baby Isabella waits to arrive her lungs get stronger. The doctor guestimates that she is about 5lbs or so now. Thank you for all your prayers.
I wish you a peaceful day. Love you!!
I began to take Zoloft, an anti-depressant in December of 09. It helped take the edge off my emotional pain & helped me to focus at work. I had to stop taking it about 2 weeks ago due to my stomach problems and have found myself crying on the way to & from work & again having many meltdowns. I realized that I needed to go back on it & have reintroduced it as of Tuesday. I will take it as long as I need to because it helps me function & like all of you, function we must. I will take it the rest of my life if I need to. I am on a low dosage, Zoloft doesn't contribute to weight gain, and unlike the Ativan, it is not habit forming.
As a Mental Health worker I see the good many medications do for my clients. This is just my experience. Your doctor and/or psychiatrist can help you decide what, if any medications are helpful. I also went to grief counseling for one year and I was blessed to have a very skilled counselor whose help was invaluable.
I do feel just OK most of the time, but the Zoloft seems to help my emotions stay more manageable. I wish you all the best in finding what works for you on this heartbreaking road we travel.
As an aside my granddaughter Christina is still carrying the baby. Every day Baby Isabella waits to arrive her lungs get stronger. The doctor guestimates that she is about 5lbs or so now. Thank you for all your prayers.
I wish you a peaceful day. Love you!!
Replies
I am glad you posted this. I know so many people who are afraid of taking \'drugs\'. I equate antidepressants to Insulin. You would not deprive a diabetic of insulin. Why deprive a person of an antidepressant which is essentially a med to balance brain chemicals. I have had depression for many years and have been taking Zoloft. After Lisa died, I spiralled and am now on a combination of Zoloft and Wellbutrin. I also have enough Ativan to choke a horse but only use them on the rare occasion for panic. I expect I will be on an antidepressant for the rest of my life. It helps me feel normal. I still cry every day but I can function.
I am so happy that Christina is hanging on!
Big hugs,
Marlene
Linda, I realize that medication is a must for many on this painful path but we believe our son experienced the negative from withdrawal. His toxicology report was negative but I know for a fact he had been taking half of his wife\'s Zoloft.....of course, it was not prescribed so therefore it was probably never meant that he be on it anyway. He was depressed and suffered mood swings. He told me this himself. I say this only to caution others that there is a side effect to all mood altering drugs. If for any reason someone was to think about suicide while on the drug....please call your dr. immediately. Drugs like this cannot be stopped abruptly. My daughter has been through the gamut of anti-depressants and has had suicidal thoughts herself. I guess my family does not do well on these although she is now seemingly fine on prozac. I, for one, applaud the help I received from xanax and up until recently used it like you...but now I am off...after weaning myself slowly...that is key to these drugs. SLOWLY...withdraw from them, Over time it builds up in your brain and it is over time that it must be stopped. I am glad you are able to find relief and are anticipating the birth of your granddaughter,....yes, everyday is another day of health for Isabella....love the name! Love ya, dale...brandon\'s mom
Yes, it is such a personal decision and people must be followed by a doctor to ensure their safety and to be aware of unwanted side effects.
I take Celexa since Jim\'s passing. The man I am currently with tries to make me stop it. I said, \"You wouldn\'t want to see me without it.\" I did run out and the dr. didn\'t phone in the script in a timely way. I was literally a human fountain of tears. Once I got my hands on that bottle, I took it right way!
I feel I will take it for the rest of my life as well. People who judge you for taking these meds just don\'t have a clue...
I took Zoloft for 8 months and weaned myself off, mental health issues run in my family and at that time I felt the need to know where my emotions were without it. I still cry regularly and I figure I\'ll always be sad and that is as it will be. I\'m proud of you for wanting to take the edge off and knowing when it\'s necessary. Hugs and love to you and EDDIE! Lynette ~ Matthews mom
Thank you for an informative entry about choices that we do have. This is a road we all travel and to become educated and to know our selves well enough as to what is needed is a big step. Also, continuing to monitor, change and revisit these choices is beneficial too. Thanks for the info too on how Christina and Isabella are doing. Each day is a blessing and is this your first great grandie? I can\'t remember if you had mentioned that before? Much love and gratitude always for the information. Keep it coming! :) Joanie
I have been on an antidepressant since Jenn was diagnosed. It is well known that major depression is an imblance of brain chemicals.. no less than a diabetic might need insulin.. it is also known that a trauma can trigger the imblance, which might readjust or may not.. each person needs to be evaluated for his/her individual needs.
iT\'S important information. I use prozac and xanex.25 when needed. I also have help with my sleep problems. I have chronic insomnia so I use Xyrem for the deep, stage 4 sleep I can\'t get on my own. I also use a vpap machine so I don\'t stop breathing at night. That\'s a sleep apnea problem. The best help I\'ve had these terrible ten months has been my therapist, my physical classes, (yoga, pilates, feldenrais, etc.) and DS. FMO is always open, 24 hours a day, and has been a life saver for me. I think we all should seek help with these traumas in life. Excessive suffering isn\'t good for anyone, not for our dead, loved ones, or the living. Thanks for this posting.
You are one of the most helpful and caring people I know. You are truly appreciated!
Love, prayers, and hugs, Sharon
Linda you are so generous to share your personal journey with meds...this DOES help others to realize that there ARE options...thank you...Karen
Everyone is different and I have had soooo many people try to tell me they didn\'t take drugs (when their mom died or husband) I went to a counselor for a year with out understanding that she was not helping me. She was a nice lady and all but when you have never had counseling...so you need to see a therapist and get the proper medications from a Psychiatrist. We have been messing with mine for almost 3 years - if I gave up, I would be dead now as my depression is so severe and the anxiety is extreme as well as Post Traumatic Stress syndrome. I have learned a huge amount because I found a new therapist...is is terrific. She has given me workbooks or asked me to purchase them. She is very agressive & totally has my back where the other counselor didn\'t. From my first appointment with her she has had my back, she got me in with a new Psych. dr. Take large doses of Cymbalta, Welbutrion & clonazapam to get me through the day and at night they put me on Trazadone which was originally meant for depression but it made patients too sleepy...this gives me the deep REM sleep I had not been getting and made sure NOT to use ambien and other prescribed sleep aids as they do not get you the REM Sleep which is important for everyone. I have a couple of other pills I can take for anxiety and muscle tension. So, I catch a ton of flack from my sister in law - who is toxic and my counselor and said I am under doctor\'s not to talk to her. I could go on and on but just this one more piece, I have done a lot of research about what happens if you don\'t get meds (especially seretonin) and stifle your feelings.....men have heart attacks within a few years of the loss of a child and for women it is cancer.....you see everyone has cancer running through their bodies at all times but when you are depressed the immune system that kills those cancer cell and rids your body of them goes way down....You can actually count the years from someone\'s divorce or a death etc and if they have not done anything they cancer comes. My mother\'s cancer started 2 years after her father died, within 5 years her brother died (they were very close) and her cancer came back and she died. My sister\'s husband died 7 years ago....she did nothing to get help she held everything in wham! She got cancer (Lobeular Breast Cancer) but they found it too late to do anything. Matthew was murdered almost 3 years...we found a lobeular cyst this past fall and did a lumpextomy...the only way to see this kind of breast cancer is basically by having an MRI. Mine was caught early and we got it out of there and I now take 2 low dose tamoxifin pills every day (a cancer treatment = precautionary). So my research is right and the advise which started this horribly long but hopefully helpful diatribe will help someone else.
I would just like to add...If you are not sleeping or you are not getting good sleep you may need an aid. Lack of sleep can be as dangerous as any disease and be as deadly as well. Please, get sleep.
I was immediately put on Wellbutrin and took it until being switched to Pristiq. Both meds worked well, and I was only changed because I\'d changed Dr.s and he preferred Prestiq for whatever reasons. I have gained approx. 30lbs since Kala\'s accident...not sure how much, if any, is due to the meds. Last year I had a bad \"episode\" after not taking the meds for a few days. Torrey\'s life choices were driving me insane and I was out of control temporarily. What I\'ve discovered about myself, and have discussed with and gotten approval from my doctor, is that I seem to only need meds from Nov-Jan. I am in the process of properly weaning myself off...again with my doctors approval. I do not feel there is anything wrong with taking prescribes meds as they are intended to be taken for as long as they are needed. I also believe in finding out if I really need my meds daily for the rest of my human experience...I think not, therein lies the reason I am being weaned off. However, if I see that in fact I DO need them, I will go back on them. I\'m secretly hoping I\'ll magically drop 30 or 40 pounds by not taking them too!! As in anything in life, if it is right for you, it is right.
Continued love, strength, and growth to Isabella!
Linda, I have to agree with what you said. When Michael passed suddenly, I was a complete mess. I thought I could handle it on my own, but 9 months later I realized I couldn\'t. My doctor put me on Lexapro and I was on it a year. It helped so much.
There are so many different medications, but my doctor explained why he chose this one for me. I was ever so grateful as it helped get me out of the pit. It is good to know that someone in the mental health field belives in meds too. Hopefully, your journal entry will help someone who is \"on the fence\" as I was. love and peace, Roselle
Ive never wanted to take meds but that\'s been my personal decision so I think if you know that the Zoloft helps then you know what\'s best for you. I think there are medications for a reason and heaven only knows that a loss of a child is certainly a reason to need a little something to help us function. Thanks for sharing your story. Love to you friend. Robin