medications

I fugured out what meds do. After gaining weight, sleeping all day, no focus, no energy, dizzy spells, and a total lack of apptitude to get control of my life i went off meds. Off the meds i was able to exercise my possibilities,capabilities, and focus.Soon after the thought patterns in my mind started to disturb me. I still had strength and energy and focus to keep control of my life, but I was being tormented in my mind. It is like feeling your mind about to go over the cliff and sometimes it does. It is a terrible scary feeling. It takes at times every ounce of your force passion and exertion to get through the intensity of these battles. When i got back on my meds i saw that i did not have to worry about thinking this or that or even be carefull with my mind. It just kept me from falling off those cliffs. Side effects suck but No matter how disabled i am in my mind i dont have to worry about it. Its not my fault and all i can do is make the best out of this life. All we have to do is be who we are, howerver fucked up we may be.