Mess
(Post I made a couple of days ago) I’m really struggling at home at the moment. Without going into too much detail, basically my Mum’s track record with men is not good. Violence was involved and it’s left me feeling untrustworthy of men in general and I feel really uncomfortable. She’s just started seeing someone new. He seems OK but I’ve been acting like I’m fine with everything when really, I HATE it! What’s made it worse is that now my Mum is asking for my help with finding somewhere for them to go together overnight. She talks to me about him and how things are going and I’m trying not to let it show I don’t like it, but the more I do, the more she talks to me about it.She’s really happy at the moment and I don’t want to ruin it for her. What do I do? Has anyone else been in this position? (Update from today)Not had a good day and tonight she's asked me to sit down with her with my laptop and look at hotel sites etc. I told her I didn't want to tonight and said "I thought you were taking things slowly". I stuck by how I felt and said "not tonight" being assertive like I've been asked to do in therapy. Now she's really pissed off with me and there's an atmosphere..... I knew it wouldn't work and now I feel even worse! x-Bliss-x
Replies
No one said being assertive was going to be easy. Sometimes people have to get upset to understand the point no matter how kindly we do it. I think your mum was putting a lot of pressure for you to be involved in organising it. Hang in there its just because you\'re a lovely person that you feel bad. Keeping frustration bottled up only leads to probolems you did the right thing. x
No wonder anorexia became your best friend, when is your Mum going to realise she cannot be your best friend and you cannot be hers, I know how hard you have struggled and how you have always felt a responsibility for your Mum, the time has to come that you detatch, she has her life and you have to rebuild yours, you really have to tell her she is not being helpful to you at this time, let her sulk all she wants, thats childish behaviour isn\'t it. Love Fane xxxx
Thank you both :)
x-Bliss-x