Me unbiased

so I'm not unstained I could have a 14 year baby I had an abortion.  I was scared and young and I'm not sure I forgive myself or think anyone else should feel bad for me now.  I do know I let two different men rape me after that,which no one has to believe I don't even think my parents believe it.  Everyone knows girl who cries wolf .  I do know I'm messed up and not perfect so I do know one day I'll find happy, it may have to be watching my siblings have babies,but I do know for me I can't always believe every bad decision I made made this outcome in my life,because I know so many people that keep making selfish decisions everyday after they are blessed with a child that I am still deserving