me n my effin life

So the above pic i edited to represent how i feel right now, what can i say i feel fkd. 

I just want to break free from all this shiz and feel none of it, BUT i am not going to take my own life, i wouldnt do that to my parents and the few people that love me dearly although it does make sense to me why people do it and its scary to think you can understand why people take their own life.

Right now im sitting at my computer banging away on the keyboard with feelings of hoplessness , what am i doing, where am i going, im in a rut im 31 and ive just gone down hill compared to how i used to be, i used to be "good at life" now i just exisit . well thats how i feel. 

Every morning i feel fkd, like hungover, but i dont even drink or do drugs, i smoke ciggies and i am on meds for my health problems but other than that my wellbeing just feels like its up shit creek. not sure what else to say, just wanted to vent that and its better to put it here than on facebook hey....

L xo