Me Myself and I

I am really really struggling with something that has haunted my life and that is the nightmares I have of my rape. It is a faceless man but I know who it is and it scares the hell out of me every night. I wish I didn't have them because it is like I have to relive the rape all over again night after night. Everyone wonders why I don't sleep well. I can't rid myself of the awful scary dreams and it is nearly killing me. I wonder if my ex knows when he raped me he left me with what he did. I can't fix him or change him but what I would really like to do is punch him in the nuts and yell at him. But I can't do that either. No amount of sleeping medicine or alcohol can quell that dream.