me---my own worst enemy?
Yesterday, Wednesday, was the end of my lost weekend, when sober-me went psycho Friday through Wednesday morning----from loaning a dvd that somebody kept for three weeks. I didn't get the dvd set back, but the loaner did give me 20 dollars without me asking----which is a LOT more than anybody in last 40 years ever did for me when they loaned my property and ruined/lost it.
My lost weekend of endlessly fantasizing that this latest loan would be another rip-off; me taking twice my blood pressure medication, aspirin every few hours, melatonin in the daytime...so no stroke/heart attack.
In my olde age, I've finally wised up: "i'm in too poor health for loans" to tell anybody, though years ago I started wishing I could just say "oh,hell no" to anybody who asked.
The loaner of two dvds, is an elderly bus passenger who collects old movies and old stuff, period; his story yesterday of losing the dvd was probably fake, but the money for it made up for it.
Almost 4ever bad examples of money and property loans in my past, enough for such a thing to be akin to post traumatic stress.
Two weeks ago, Wednesday, I found a twenty dollar bill at far end of walmart parking lot, yesterday I was given 20 dollars for dvds i loaned, today at library a friendly conversation with a stranger...even if it did start with him saying i look like andy warhol;)
After "the horror, the horror" of the lowlifes in my hometown for decades, I have to re-wire my brain to realize my life can better.
My lost weekend of endlessly fantasizing that this latest loan would be another rip-off; me taking twice my blood pressure medication, aspirin every few hours, melatonin in the daytime...so no stroke/heart attack.
In my olde age, I've finally wised up: "i'm in too poor health for loans" to tell anybody, though years ago I started wishing I could just say "oh,hell no" to anybody who asked.
The loaner of two dvds, is an elderly bus passenger who collects old movies and old stuff, period; his story yesterday of losing the dvd was probably fake, but the money for it made up for it.
Almost 4ever bad examples of money and property loans in my past, enough for such a thing to be akin to post traumatic stress.
Two weeks ago, Wednesday, I found a twenty dollar bill at far end of walmart parking lot, yesterday I was given 20 dollars for dvds i loaned, today at library a friendly conversation with a stranger...even if it did start with him saying i look like andy warhol;)
After "the horror, the horror" of the lowlifes in my hometown for decades, I have to re-wire my brain to realize my life can better.
Replies
Yes. Your new town is much better if not perfect. But do any of us get perfect? Don\'t think so
I was so happy about being reimbursed for the dvds, it wasn\'t till yesterday that I realized my worst fear DID come true---the person who loaned the dvds lost them.
Perfectionism and procastination supposedly go together, with worries of criticism also being a reason to procastinate.
I just take it for granted that something like a dvd should be loaned for a week, not months. Five months after i loaned somebody in my building two dvds, she returned them in april, with a lecture to me about how she isn\'t a thief:)
But this building and town IS nicer---just no more favors from me, with two others still having my dvds and one wanting free pantry food I don\'t want.
Yes. Very nice to get the 20 but disappointing ppl don\'t give stuff back. I suppose just stop lending or start being more careful about it.
I sense you like being generous. Have you asked for your DVDs back from the other two? Have you asked the guy who wants your pantry food for a ride?
I also sense you have trouble asking for what you want.
I have lost a lot of stuff from lending it out over the years. People can sure take advantage. Luckily not everyone is like that. I think you should just start telling people no. It will save you a lot of stress.
hi, TroJanThunder.
when i was on google avoidant personalty anateur group, even the moderator wrote how she just quits people who don\'t know how to treat her, vs telling others what she expects from people.
for me, part of it comes down to being desperate for conversations about movies, as well as the older gossips in my building at least knowing longish haired me not some druggy...soooo, loan out dvds for that reason.
My ribs still hurting from 3-week ago carting of thirty pound (i looked up weight on internet) of olde computer moniter to recycling center in town; put it atop my bike for maybe a half mile ride.
i do plan on asking the one dvd loaner in building for ride next month, to get 30 pound bags of catlitter at walmart that are same brand and same price for 20 pounds in town; that woman has, at least, given me rides before.
Yesterday, an elderly woman in building knocked at my door to say she accidently opened my mail that contained a dvd (\"freud\", starring montgomery cliff)---which, i\'ve accepted as an omen/warning not to send away for any x-rated dvds, as i had thought of doing;)
hi, KellyPaterson,
even before this latest loan fiasco, i thought how people who loan stuff go all psychotic, and regard stuff now in their possession as their real property---with people like me as some cold hearted thief.
yeah, in my olde age, i just can\'t handle loaning out stuff---waaay too many bad examples in my past, to at least 1979!
I am glad to hear you are considering asking for what you want a little more. It will make your life so much better!
\"neither a borrower nor lender be\" Shakespeare. I\'ve been like that for DECADES. most people are. if you loan something out you have to expect to never get it back. so instead you don\'t loan at all. what i do do, is if i find something free on craigslist that someone i know needs, i pick it up for them and drop it off, if i am clearing out stuff or come across a really good deal somewhere and i know it is something a person i know can use, i drop it off for them as well. so i make up for not loaning. i actually DROPPED a friend of mine who was a mechanic because he kept \"borrowing\" my tire pressure measurer thing, i would buy another and another and another and finally one day he remarked how many he had and take any one i want except the really good one, which was PINK and MINE!!! and i was like what the hell, this is mine. unfortunately, you find out another\'s boundaries the hard way, takes a couple of years of knowing them, before you know okay, if he is \"taking/stealing\" this stuff, what else is he \"taking/stealing\" -- people who steal small things also steal big things, its just a matter of time. the WORST is when they steal personal things that aren\'t at all replaceable. people that do that are worse than the worst criminal out there.