ME-Before My Husband Had Cancer
Before my husband became ill....as far as patience goes we were as different as day and night.....
He-----had all the patience in the world....no matter what there was to be done, or his job, it didn't matter, he was laid back....relaxed.....always helping others,,,laughed a lot.....loved to make jokes....and could be your best friend ever....sorta like my boys are now....Easy Going.....
Me.....I was totally different....I had no patience....none at all.....If we went shopping for furniture for the house....if they would not delivery it that day no matter what time we walked in the store, I would say "fine, let's go to another store" and we would walk out....even if they were going to make the deliver the next morning....Not Me..I wanted it right them....
We also had differences in where we liked to live....He loved the country, I was a total city girl....I hated the country....
The thing about our marriage that really worked out good for us that almost from the beginning we would discuss the issue and then we would work it out to please both....for example:
When the first cars came out using Diesel, geez I hated them...they were made so much noise....just my choice of what I wanted us to buy....Also, I hated station wagon's...but with the travel we did with his job and four boys it took a lot of car..so we didn't have much choice in that...but when it came to that diesel......oh I threw my temper and that I did have a temper...forgot to mention that above, where Lee had no temper at all. Sometimes, of course, being so young as I was, I would try to make him mad by pushing him....during those years...it didn't happen.
So back to our working together....we talked a long time about that Diesel and finally he came up with an ideal....What about if I picked the color....then he could get the diesel engine....Humm, I thought that would work....so we got a light green color....with a very loud diesel engine....the car that became know in the family as the Pickle Car...The men/boys hated the color....but they got the Diesel..so all was in accord....
Living in the city or the country....same thing...We were living in a brand new house and out of the blue Lee decides we are going to buy his Aunt's Farm...that was okay with me.....I knew how much he wanted that family farm...what I didn't know at the time that he wanted to live there.......Oh no not for a city girl....Summers for a couple of years we would stay there all week and weekend in a tent....I even canned from the garden using a camping stove..(maybe that is why I do not like camping) Huge storms would come and we had our tent under the most beautiful Hundred year old Oak Tree....but when it stormed we stayed...I kept telling him the tree was going to fall and fall on us...Our New home sat about 8 miles away...yet there we sat in a tent in the heat, the storms, the beauty of the tree and lots of times the dark starry skies....so all was not so bad.....Then came the news
I want us to see our house and move here....Here, here where we had spent the summers, no house....sell our brand new house...you got to be kidding...Here was no-where land...there were no neighbor but one living down that dark lonely road...he wanted to sell our house and move to what I still call the boonies...
Now, there is a reason that I believe this all happened, but will share that later....Finally, I agreed....oh how I hated that move....That Sept. before we moved I had just put Kenny in a brand new beautiful school....within driving distance of our home....He was happy there....But if and when we moved to the "Farm" he would have to transfer .....that day came....and I cried the entire time....I had to take him out of this beautiful school, beautiful home into a One Room School House divided into six grades.....and not only that but we were selling out home to live in a house trailer......
Geez,,,,,a brand new home....to a brand new house trailer..not a double wide...a single wide with six people.....but that we did....and there we stayed until we traveled with work....The kids loved it, he loved it....Seven Years ....I hated it....However, I have to admit we had some good times there...Horses, the kids loved to ride....chickens that they loved to feed....milk cows that they loved to milk and then we had the baby calf born.....It was an experience that if we had not done, the boys would have never got to enjoy some of the adventures they had in the country......Although there are a lot of things I smile about that happened while we lived there now....like the snake that came in the house....and no one came to rescue although I screamed forever...When I finally made my way out of the house trailer...I said to Lee" Didn't you hear me scream...to his response Sandi, you scream every time you see a mouse...which I responded...Can't you tell the difference between a mouse scream and a snake scream......Trust me there is!!!
We left the farm for about a year and half coming home once a month....due to work....when the work was back at home and we got ready to move back....as I said before....we worked together on making decision ......this decision was his....
He came to me and said..."Sandi, I know how much you hate the country...we have been there 7 years....now I owe you 7 years living in town.....What a caring man.......He really did have a big heart...........so we moved back, bought a new house and had lived there for about two years then the Cancer came.......
cont.....
He-----had all the patience in the world....no matter what there was to be done, or his job, it didn't matter, he was laid back....relaxed.....always helping others,,,laughed a lot.....loved to make jokes....and could be your best friend ever....sorta like my boys are now....Easy Going.....
Me.....I was totally different....I had no patience....none at all.....If we went shopping for furniture for the house....if they would not delivery it that day no matter what time we walked in the store, I would say "fine, let's go to another store" and we would walk out....even if they were going to make the deliver the next morning....Not Me..I wanted it right them....
We also had differences in where we liked to live....He loved the country, I was a total city girl....I hated the country....
The thing about our marriage that really worked out good for us that almost from the beginning we would discuss the issue and then we would work it out to please both....for example:
When the first cars came out using Diesel, geez I hated them...they were made so much noise....just my choice of what I wanted us to buy....Also, I hated station wagon's...but with the travel we did with his job and four boys it took a lot of car..so we didn't have much choice in that...but when it came to that diesel......oh I threw my temper and that I did have a temper...forgot to mention that above, where Lee had no temper at all. Sometimes, of course, being so young as I was, I would try to make him mad by pushing him....during those years...it didn't happen.
So back to our working together....we talked a long time about that Diesel and finally he came up with an ideal....What about if I picked the color....then he could get the diesel engine....Humm, I thought that would work....so we got a light green color....with a very loud diesel engine....the car that became know in the family as the Pickle Car...The men/boys hated the color....but they got the Diesel..so all was in accord....
Living in the city or the country....same thing...We were living in a brand new house and out of the blue Lee decides we are going to buy his Aunt's Farm...that was okay with me.....I knew how much he wanted that family farm...what I didn't know at the time that he wanted to live there.......Oh no not for a city girl....Summers for a couple of years we would stay there all week and weekend in a tent....I even canned from the garden using a camping stove..(maybe that is why I do not like camping) Huge storms would come and we had our tent under the most beautiful Hundred year old Oak Tree....but when it stormed we stayed...I kept telling him the tree was going to fall and fall on us...Our New home sat about 8 miles away...yet there we sat in a tent in the heat, the storms, the beauty of the tree and lots of times the dark starry skies....so all was not so bad.....Then came the news
I want us to see our house and move here....Here, here where we had spent the summers, no house....sell our brand new house...you got to be kidding...Here was no-where land...there were no neighbor but one living down that dark lonely road...he wanted to sell our house and move to what I still call the boonies...
Now, there is a reason that I believe this all happened, but will share that later....Finally, I agreed....oh how I hated that move....That Sept. before we moved I had just put Kenny in a brand new beautiful school....within driving distance of our home....He was happy there....But if and when we moved to the "Farm" he would have to transfer .....that day came....and I cried the entire time....I had to take him out of this beautiful school, beautiful home into a One Room School House divided into six grades.....and not only that but we were selling out home to live in a house trailer......
Geez,,,,,a brand new home....to a brand new house trailer..not a double wide...a single wide with six people.....but that we did....and there we stayed until we traveled with work....The kids loved it, he loved it....Seven Years ....I hated it....However, I have to admit we had some good times there...Horses, the kids loved to ride....chickens that they loved to feed....milk cows that they loved to milk and then we had the baby calf born.....It was an experience that if we had not done, the boys would have never got to enjoy some of the adventures they had in the country......Although there are a lot of things I smile about that happened while we lived there now....like the snake that came in the house....and no one came to rescue although I screamed forever...When I finally made my way out of the house trailer...I said to Lee" Didn't you hear me scream...to his response Sandi, you scream every time you see a mouse...which I responded...Can't you tell the difference between a mouse scream and a snake scream......Trust me there is!!!
We left the farm for about a year and half coming home once a month....due to work....when the work was back at home and we got ready to move back....as I said before....we worked together on making decision ......this decision was his....
He came to me and said..."Sandi, I know how much you hate the country...we have been there 7 years....now I owe you 7 years living in town.....What a caring man.......He really did have a big heart...........so we moved back, bought a new house and had lived there for about two years then the Cancer came.......
cont.....
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