Me and the Law
Another brick wall regarding my dad. So, the hospital transferred him to a hospital that is for people with mental issues, including dementia. Since I don't have his power of attorney they can't talk to me. Worst yet, they can neither confirm or deny that he is there. So, I'm in limbo again, but at least it's not the hell of wondering if he is starving.
Of course, family members are calling me worried that he is being mistreated or is scared and suffering. I point out that there is nothing I could do. In the eyes of the law I might as well be my next-door neighbor. The law (HiPAA) states that the privacy of those in a mental hospital must be guarded. That means if you call you must have a code number. If you don't they are not allowed to give any information out and will neither confirm or deny the patients presence in the hospital.
It is very possible that I will never know what happened to him. Thing is I warned my dad of what happens when you don't give power of attorney years ago. People would be surprised that you need it even if you are married. I ran into that when my husband was in a coma. The medical people asked if I had power of attorney. I said no because we are married. They agreed except that if he needed long-term care, I would need power of attorney to do it. I was then forced to hire a lawyer to get conservatorship of my husband which cost me more than 5000 dollars. It's a lengthy process that can be challenged.
At any rate, my father did not want a lowly female to have control of his life, so here we are. He's now in the hands of strangers and I pray for him.
Of course, family members are calling me worried that he is being mistreated or is scared and suffering. I point out that there is nothing I could do. In the eyes of the law I might as well be my next-door neighbor. The law (HiPAA) states that the privacy of those in a mental hospital must be guarded. That means if you call you must have a code number. If you don't they are not allowed to give any information out and will neither confirm or deny the patients presence in the hospital.
It is very possible that I will never know what happened to him. Thing is I warned my dad of what happens when you don't give power of attorney years ago. People would be surprised that you need it even if you are married. I ran into that when my husband was in a coma. The medical people asked if I had power of attorney. I said no because we are married. They agreed except that if he needed long-term care, I would need power of attorney to do it. I was then forced to hire a lawyer to get conservatorship of my husband which cost me more than 5000 dollars. It's a lengthy process that can be challenged.
At any rate, my father did not want a lowly female to have control of his life, so here we are. He's now in the hands of strangers and I pray for him.
Replies
Sweetie you have done all you can. He made his decisions years ago and now he is living the results. You tried so hard to be sure that all his ducks were in a row so that if this happened you could pay his bills and be involved in his care. He was not having any of it. Poor decision on his part. I am terribly sorry for you as this has to be hard. Sending warm hugs. Jane
How sad. But as Jane said - he made his bed long ago and now has to live with his decisions. You\'ve done all you could and more.
Sending prayers and hugs your way.