Me and my multiple issues - sobriety, breakups, relationships, managing work

It's kinda nice to have some free time the first time since teaching since June, now that I am doing a class for the 2nd time.  Both students in the class are receiving B's after their midterm Tuesday.  I came home to have some "me" time instead of going straight into work to "prepare" for independent study psychology class tonight.  I still have some time today. Parents are gone for the night so I get some time to myself.  I get to sub for a sociology class tomorrow and I'm not yet prepared.  I feeel like I'm coming down with a little cold so I am trying to take it easy a bit.  Mom called to say she'll be here after all.  Dad is in Laughlin gambling or playing something or other. Yesterday at the place where I get domestic violence counseling, I started attending a codependency group that will last for several weeks.  It was right on the mark, and I get an assignment of some writing to do for next week.  It will help see the relationship between codependency and abusive relationships This time of year I usually get to do some temporary work I commute to - they haven't responded to me letting them know I'm available yet, so I may not do it this time.  It's so grueling to be out of the house by 5am and also have a part time job in the evenings, and deal with a few hours of commuting time a day.  I'm doing ok with the better paying part time job so I am lucky I could probably choose to do without. Today marks 4 years clean from pot - yesterday marked 4 years from the last day I used pot.  Wow.  My sobriety date is in February due to alcohol.  I was such a terrible marijuana addict, and I'm so grateful to be free from that today. Well anyway so in 4 months since my ex and I broke up for good - and I see why he is so persistent since I used to go back to him, only this time I haven't - so I have been on dates with 3 guys.  This Mr now is sweet.  He is so sweet, and I think, I thought my ex was nice, but in comparison this guy is quite nice because he's gentle and not aggressive.  He speaks his mind and he is a little immature like me, which I relate to.  Anyway it kind of blew me away when we got together for breakfast Thursday, the stuff we have in common.  He is in school for drug and alcohol counseling, and he reads the bible, and I think he's cute.  I just developed an attraction for him about a week ago when it was sinking in he likes me - even though I could tell from the first time I met him over a year ago that he liked me. It has  been neat to watch him mature in sobriety - he celebrated 2 years a month ago.  Anyway and it's weird, since he is the one person who I have had tell me things about my ex - I am so out of that croud.  I hear my ex is pretty sleazy with a lot of girls, and I don't want to know.  Anyway so now I was accountable with my counselor today which is huge, because I really do need someone who can help me down the right path. So he gave me a little kiss that night and hasn't kissed anyone or had a girlfriend in 2 1/2 years.  So last night we hung out a little and kissed a little more.  He asked me to go steady!  Ok that's a little fast.  LOL. Anyway oooooooooooooh.  So we'll see.  I don't know him well enough, and it's not like I'm looking for anyone, I'm just open and why not!  So there is some shame.  I'm embarassed to have public relationships, since he's in AA too, and people can see, people who know I was with my ex.  I'm private.  I'm such a relationship & love addict.  I can feel the feelings like I'm getting "high" as I romance the idea of mutually connecting with someone I like.  Actually I was very addicted to that feeling about the same time I got into alcohol as a 13 year old, and it has been with me ever since.  I know I need to care for my spirituality. And consider a SLAA meeting like my sponsor has suggested. Monday I called my friend who turned 94, who has 59 years sober in AA.  I cried because he attends the same meetings I used to attend with my ex, and we miss eachother.  I admire this man so much.  I told him I was avoiding that meeting because I am avoiding my ex boyfriend.  He said to come if I want to, and he hopes I get to the point where my ex and I can have a conversation.  I didn't go on about "he's a liar" - I have suffered privately and don't bring my issue to that meeting or even my other meetings elsewhere.  I don't want to go around my ex.  He tells me my ex needs a lot of help and is very sad - true.   Weird that Mr new said my ex, who he saw at a meeting this week, is very egotistical and self centered and wants everyone to like him, it felt good to hear because I agree and it's like "yeah".  I don't go to meetings to share and get a reaction from people, like my ex does.  I just don't want to be around it.  It's been about a month and a week with NO CONTACT, yay.  I mean in not responding or listening to his msgs. I'm going to bump up my "grow in all areas" goal 5%.  Yeah!  Good for me for moving on.  I joined this sight a year ago trying to deal with the breakup.  Aahh what a relief.