me again
Well since my last journal i have sought councilling and had to involve the police. I still miss him at times and cant understand why. I think i miss the company and having nobody to talk to at night or cuddle up to. It feels like someone has died. I have this emptiness that wont go away and every day is a hurdle. I miss the man he was at the start. All i seem to focus on is remembering the nice side of him. But i have to try to remind myself of the bad stuff. i really loved this guy and when i married him i believed this would be the man i would grow old with. He has hurt me so much and i have tried to forgive him but how can i forget. Its impossible because the pain doesnt go away. The damage has been done.
Now i am looking on a future alone. I feel i will never trust another man with my heart.
Now i am looking on a future alone. I feel i will never trust another man with my heart.
Replies
I know exactly what you mean about missing them. It is tough and I am hoping to see the \'easier than right now\' side of things.
Don\'t worry about trusting another man yet. Worry about trusting and loving yourself enough to know the decisions you make will be good for you. Who knows how things will be for you when you get there but I bet it will be a good place to be in. :) I think you are doing great!
((((((((((((((((((((((((big hug))))))))))))))))))))))
just hugs my friend. They are adults and as much as it hurts to step back, you have to. I was in the same situation. 25 yrs of marriage. But you have to look after yourself, first and foremost.
Try to take one day at a time, or one moment at a time. Healing takes time. As you heal you will regain your self trust. I had trust issues around men my whole life. What I have recently discovered is that if I just trust myself, I don\'t have to worry about trusting others. I will know when it\'s ok to trust & who is trustable. That takes a lot of therapy, time and much self introspection. Be good to you and allow yourself the time & whatever it takes to heal. oxoxoxo