Me
Im having a real problem with ME. Im not happy with the lengths I put myself out to please and save people i know that i cant.
I always have myself spread so thin and by doing so cant seem to stop and look at the simple joys in life passing me by.
Rather than settle down and try to be happy with Roomie in my life and enjoy this beautiful house we rent im too busy chasing "chaos" which will get me no where and probably an early grave.
My mother and father both settled and the great grandmother that raised me
Was married 8 times. The only man she ever really loved was killed in a car accident. I think Joe is that man for me and i desperately want to cling onto that for that reason. People you fall madly in love with dont come around much...as a matter of fact he is the only one ive ever felt this way for. But...my delimma...is he that madly in love with me to get better?
Im sad and im upset at myself. Almost self-loathing really.
Replies
"Settle down" is one of those phrases that gets me psychopating. I blame it on my hyper-active disposition. I've been hitched to the same wagon for 40 years and still ain't settled down. I still run off every chance I get. I still come home when the wandering starts feeling like it's own breed of trap. Are we talking physics or fairy tales?
I get lost in metaphor with discouraging ease. . .
I consider myself a recovering chaos junkie. Chasing that chaos and assigning myself as savior to the folks who don't wanna be saved is my corner dealer. You can tell by the droopy drawers. There always seems to be another puppy in the pound in search of a familiar carpet to pee on. Is there such a thing as an addiction which doesn't foster self-loathing? Dunno which I hate worse: me in chaos junkie mode or stepping in those proverbial puppy pee spots.
I guess it's true that I don't get to save every puppy in the pound. Damned human limitations. . .
Continued support while you sort your own.
I love my wife with all my heart but I only have had a positive recovery because I summoned the courage to take a deep look at myself.
Looking back, sure, I should have quit drinking for her. But that wouldn’t have healed me.
I think you need to have some alone time and quiet your mind. When the distractions of life keep us from practicing self love then we are using them like a drug to avoid ourselves. That pulls happiness out of reach.
Simple living sage. Easy on yourself.:)
It will take time to get over him. Breaking up is never easy. In time, you might be able to be friends again.
Hoping for the best for you both.
God Bless