Me
Ok here is my story that I am not looking forward to telling and I really do not need to be ridiculed for it. I messed up somewhat and someone let me have it today earlier. At first I was really pissed but I guess she was only trying to help but her words cut like a knife.Here it is, I went to a rodeo Saturday Night with two other couples and then we went to a bar that I use to work at. I drank. I had two white russians.. Its not that I got drunk because believe me it would have taken alot more then two drinks. I didnt feel guilty or like I was going to want to drink everyday again. But I did have two cocktails. On Sunday, we went to Als daughter in laws birthday party. I didnt have any drinks until later on and I then had Rick make me one drink but I didnt even finish it.. I dont feel guilty and I dont feel like it is the biggest mistake I have made but I would guess others would say that once and alcoholic then always an alcoholic. This woman had some real heart wrenching things to say about it. I will post it here.Hey, I saw you fell off the wagon this weekend.-In Leslee J's journal. Yep, your cured all right! Just like me! Lol I wish I lived closer cause I'd throw your butt in my old Saab and take you to a meeting until you liked going. You did great but a sponsee of mine that had almost 3 months fell off the wagon this weekend too. I couldn't even get her to go to one meeting a week. She doesn't like to leave the house. She doesn't want it bad enough! It isn't supposed to be easy to stay sober any more then it is for a diabetic to stick the insulin needle in their stomach every day, but we do what we must to survive. Meetings are a small price to pay for me today. I have a good life today. I didn't want to go either but it isn't a choice for me today. I almost died of alcoholism and you will too. It's a disease just like cancer. What's this about 2 white russians? That is a sissy drink. If your going to relapse and try some controlled drinking go out and buy a half gallon. Put it on the kitchen table. Put the AA hotline number next to the half gallon. Take a coffee mug out of the cupboard. In that put your car keys, a picture of your kids, the title to your house and then commence to getting shitfaced and kiss your life home and everything you love goodbye. Alcohol is the great remover. It owned me, lock stock and barrel for 10 years. It even took my breaths for me in the end. i never drew a sober breath the last 3 years. I was a pitiful wreck. Sometimes that is what we need to do to get sober. I had to drink every drink I drank to get sober and so do you. I'm not mad at you but I'm just letting you know what you already know. Your done for. The man takes a drink, the drink takes another drink, the drink takes the man. All it takes is one drink to get it going. There is no ((one)) drink for us. How about posting something on the alcohol page? There is some good support there. If you don't want anyone to know another good board is soberrecovery.com or stayingcyber.org. I'll keep you in my prayers and call on me at any time. I understand. Ask God for help, I have never been to an AA meeting and I have nothing against them. I do have an AA book and have looked through it. To each their own I guess. I just havent done it. I dont feel myself a failure and I have no thoughts of having a drink today. I do not want to die from alcohol like my ex has done and I dont want to be a failure to Al, my kids or to any of my friends. I did it, I admit to it and thats that. I hope that my real friends will still love me and not consider me a quitter. I did what I did and that is that. I just dont feel guilty about it, thats all. Sorry.On a better note, we had another calf on Saturday morning and its doing well. I am more of a city girl and not been around the farming stuff except when I was young and my mom and dad were married and we had horses and chickens etc. I have been doing it the last four years since I have been with Al and I have enjoyed it quite a bit. Anyways, the new calf was so cute and I wanted to get real close to it and look at it and maybe pet it..lmao.. well the mother was not happy and put her head down and headed towards me full stream. Al told me to get back in the truck so I didnt get hurt.. Well I guess calfs are not for petting. I will stick with my dog and kitty. My kitty that Al has named Trouble has not had her babys yet but she is getting real fat. Last night and all early this morning she was in on my bed, purring and licking me and getting on my face and head and was very irritating.. I hope she is getting ready to have kitties and that I am not going to have to be up at all hours dealing with her.. lmao.. she is so cute though.Well thats my story and Im sticking with it.. I am starting over on the sobriety even though I did not get DRUNK. Oh well, sorry everyone.. Y'Vonne
Replies
OK what happened happended....it is over...sometimes we stumble and even fall. But, we CAN and do get back up and try again!! Nobody is perfect...even Heroes!! I think that message was very harsh. I suppose she thinks she is helping you....I dont know. You are absolutely still my hero!! I admire you so very much. Remember I want pictures and stories when the Kitty has her babies. Dont worry about what others say....you know yourself and you know how wonderful you are...at least I know. I am so sorry you were wounded by those cutting words. It is not right. I am here for you and I dont feel any different about you! Still my hero, you are!!
love ya
ruth
I can understand were this lady was coming from cause sometimes you have to be honest with each other and if she was a acholic at one time she knows what suppose to be done and said..I don\'t think that ou need to take it personal if you don\'t feel guilty about it and that you know what your limits are but she is just letting you know one drink for an recovering acholic is not a good thing. K does that make any sense to you..I am so very proud of you for being honest and telling us what happen and we are here to support you. I don\'t have the first clue about recovering from drinking and can\'t tell anything but I am here for you and am proud of the work you have done so far even if you took a drink just beware ok....How\'s the calving going, guess momma\'s don\'t like anbody around their babies their awefull about not sharing lmao, I would of loved to seen you running to the truck lol made my day..Mommy cat is doing that cause she is just about ready to have them little ones and if she gets any bigger and seems to be laying down trying to have them you might want to help her like you do the cows sometimes the first one gets stuck..Is this her first batch?? Well good luck on everything and just know your a very special person and sometimes people just don\'t know how to give advice without hurting, but like I said I think this is what she has learned with recovery and that is what she knows...Have a good Monday...Hugz and Love Vic
well hun if we were all perfect we wouldn\'t have anything to work on. i think this was a bit much for this person to say. i think you will handle this and not let it get to a bad point. encouragement of a differnet kind was needed. to me it was harsh. kindness and real understanding always seems to work on me the best. no judgement from me.
If alcoholism was such an easy thing to kick...it wouldn\'t be referred to as a disease..there would be no need for support groups,etc. etc. I have my own opinion of the advice that was given to you..But you know this person better than I do, so I will keep my opinion to myself regarding her..if you found the advice constructive..then that is whats important.
Love ya Y\'Vonne!! xxx
Maybe she feels justified in what she said because of HER past. each one is different. you know what you need. I prefer a loving response , and a helpful comment rather than criticism. No problem on this end, keep up the good work.
Hi, I can see that our IM is in your journal and Leslee wants to kill me. We have discussed things before and I would appreciate if you have a problem with me say so to me. You sent me back a note thanking me for my advice. You left me a nice journal entry too. So what is up with this? Do you need sympathy that bad because you chose to drink?
So a bunch of non alcoholics that don\'t have a clue as to what this disease does can call me a meanie. I am not mean but I don\'t sugar coat the truth. Just like when you had a slip last time and tried to not change your sober date. I called you on that. It\'s an honest program.
If you didn\'t like what I wrote you should have said you didn\'t like it and I could have explained 12th stepping someone. It never got that far because you posted it behind my back and that really hurts.
I\'m not ashamed of what I said because it is the truth and I thought you needed to hear it. My sponsor said the same thing to me and it made sense. If I didn\'t care I would have said something like, Oh well what can you do? Just try and cut back and control drink. We both know that isn\'t possible for alcoholics.
I\'m sorry I cared. I really am and it was not my intention for you to try and get sympathy out of my post. It\'s the truth! Sympathy kills drunks and addicts. You don\'t need sympathy you need to drink some more until you have drank every drink it takes to get sober. I did. I just hope your bottom is no where near as low as mine was. I was very stubborn about going to AA.
I wish you the best on your journey to sobriety. I\'d say \"Keep up the good work\" like everyone else has but that is ridiculous to say to someone who has relapsed. Some of don\'t make it back. I hope you do,
Kelly
OK, no sympathy here. You made a concious decision and now your dealing with it. Weather you have one drink, two drink, or 20 its all the same to an alcholic. You did it not once but two days in a row. Now you can\'t do it ever again. PLEASE!!! I wish you could see what I have seen and been through with alcoholics. The ones who have died from it, the ones who have been killed by them. THose words that seem harsh are spoken out of caring. We do care about you. We want what is best for you. Thats all. You have to stay strong hang in there. Lets start fresh again today. Ok.
Big hugs to you
Debbie
ever since I saw the bull bust right through the wall next to the barn because he was mad ,i knew cows wernt for pettin to but as far as your drinkin I might not be the best support. My great grandparents owned a bar and drank, my grandparents drank in motoration and my parents and myself but all in moteration now ive been told a alcoholic cant stop after one or two drinks ,it sounds to me like you did stop after one or two drinks ,however if you feel it is something that you should forbid yourself to have than that is a very personal decision and I wish you luck conquering it .we all fall because we are all human the point is get back up dust yourself off and go again .
The choice to go to an AA meeting is entirely up to you Y\'vonne. I personally believe AA is NOT the only way to stay sober or have a happy, joyous & free life. The key is a personal relationship with a Higher Power; as you understand Him. I wouldn\'t want to walk into an AA meeting either, for the first time, if the way Kelly \"12 stepped\" you was an accurate representation of AA.
Sweet we are all so different what works for one doesn\'t necessarily work for all... Hey you have admitted you did it, you handled it and now you are moving on.... You are an absolute star honey and I love you dearly xxx
sweetie all i\'ve got to say is this is your decision and your battle...it is nobody\'s business to tell you what to do. my desire is for you to be happy, however that happens is up to you, but i\'ll be here no matter what....because i love you my friend.
Seems to me that if you can drink a little and stop you\'re a strong person. Maybe you have a stronger spirit than your buddy and that\'s why you can do it without AA. You\'re a warm, caring, amazingly strong woman. You have NO REASON to say sorry to anyone. Stay strong. All the comments are said out of a real love for you but I hope you don\'t feel too hurt
You slipped and she probably just wanted to make sure you\'re okay. I\'m sorry she hurt you in trying to help but maybe she needs to apologise too for coming down so hard on you.
When I started my journey of sober living, I didn\'t just stumble. I tumbled. It\'s been a long road. But now I\'ve been sober over a year. Anything is possible.