Maybe there\'s a screenplay in all this

After a day or two cool down period...during which time no moving machinery or appliance of any kind was struck by my misbehaving hand....I feel much better.  My mind must really be warped though. Having way too much time to kill, I start to see some humor in all this...and maybe some advantages.  For instance, I m going to Florida in a couple of weeks. Now when I see some pretty woman sunbathing down there, could anyone possibly  blame me if my hand "accidentally" brushed against her bottom? ...Certainly not!...it's just the hydro acting up.   Of course there is the very real risk of her bruiser boy friend bopping me before I was able to explain...or more likely my wife would slug me. Hmm, I may have to rethink this. Oh well, we dirty old men can dream.  Since I can't see how I can get past BOTH my wife AND the women's big, burly, bad tempered boy friends, the ladies bottoms in Florida are safe...for now. Immediate retribution could be very hazardous to my health. Instead I have focused on developing a new "Bond" achvillain...OddArm!! Whether he strikes by sweeping the chips from the tables of Monaco...or by accosting all the beautiful women of the Riviera...or causing fear and havoc among the diamond cutters in Antwerp...it appears as if no one is safe from this fiend. Tourism plummets...the diamond market plunges...even the Souffle chefs in Paris are uneasy. Interpol has only one clue. It seems that heavy breathing and coughing always precedes an attack. Can anyone stop this evil villain? Just one name comes to mind...James Bond...Only Bond may be able to deal with this new threat to the world.  We could call it "The Spy and the Unguided Hand". Naturally I would have to insist on playing the debonair and diabolically cunning new Bond rival myself. Of course I would have to hit my inhaler before starting to film.  All those starlets and only two hands...guided or otherwise. It's a daunting challenge for any actor but I'm devoted to my craft. Now where did I leave the numbers to those studios?  In the meantime, I'm feeling pretty good today. Hope that you are too. Tom