Maybe my son isn't who I thought he was...

I was surprised to find my adult son was on drugs and going to jail. It was not something I ever expected from any of my kids and I was embarrassed, terrified for him, worried for his kids, angry, so incrrdibly anxious, and about every other emotion you can think of, including guilt, wondering if there was something I had done wrong way back when.  Then after nearly a year, he was getting out, with no home, no clothes, no car, no job, no friends other than the druggies he'd been hanging with last because he'd burned so many bridges. I had to turn my back on letting him live with me-partially because my "new" husband believes in tough love and because I was afraid I'd have a nervous break-down if I had my 34 yr old son move in when every fiber of my being said it was the wrong thing to do. 
Well, somehow, gratefully, he got an rex-neighbor lady who is strong in the church to take him in. That worked out for a few weeks. Then he met some girl on-line and the next thing, he was moving in with her and her little girl.  But in my conversations with him, now that he's been out about 4 months, I can so clearly see the manipulative side of him. How he tried to manipulate his sister, his brother, his ex-wife, and others and the anger he harbors for them because they didn't give in to him. I know he's charming this woman but I guess that's okay, as long as he's giving her what she wants. But I refuse to listen to it anymore. He feels so sorry for himself. I thought he was lost, but now I'm seeing that maybe, although I love him, I may not really like him very much.  He has a lot of growing up to do and I guess I'll just keep him at arm's length in the meantime.
 
Sorry....just venting.