MAybe its just me

arrrg soo another evening wasted on arguments .... Its so frustrating. He told me while the girls and i had our ladies night out and about (2 weeks ago) ,the police was at our house and searched them(they guys) for "substances"...  i adored it for him to tell me the truth even if i just wanted to blurr out the words "i told you so" ..but i didnt.....IN FACT, i just said : you know hun, you have one chance, we have one chance. This could mess up our family. "..and did he want to listen .? NO...but righteous it...Yes......Now, With all this sheeeti stuf that happend last week , i really felt he saw me and our family second at THAT moment. He did not take us seriously and act protective as i though he would....My mind just spins around wondering if its me just being the paranoid GF or anoying  or what?? Why wouldnt he just listen to me. He gets soo offensive if i speak about my concerns .That he should be more carefull. I mean , i cant make him stop and i have made peace with that, but ..........i would love it he would just listen to my voice...
Coming back to me, i was feeling weird and frustrating last night. But i supressed it. i could feel my mind becoming sad and fierce. BUT i made my self stay in control. Its my duty, as a mother and Partner. Though he did ask me whats up---he always knows ...
So i hope all will be okay when i get home. I WILL try and speak to him again, and ask him to just listen. Its hard to hear someone  NOT iking somthing you love doing.....I just believ, if you have a family, you sometimes have to listen to stuff like that and stay humble....
So today, im not in the mood for work , but just gotta make these 9 hours worth it and make it fun ...hard to be happy but making it fun  is easier. Thats how you stay happy :) Even if youre not...stay sane and safe ...
 
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