Maybe it is me!

Maybe there is some defect in me. Maybe I am not the good person I think I am. If I were how would I be 47 years old and feel like no one in the world gives a fuck about me (othr than the wonderful total strangers, I have met on here, maybe that is because you don't really know me).I have had a really shitty week. I got offered a new wonderful job that could save my home for me and my kids. I wasn't even looking it just got put in my lap. I of course thanked God. I even get a big signon bonus to get everything caught up. I should be so happy. I have worked with the people I work with off and on for over ten years. I thought they loved me. They have been through my divorce and Tony with me, They have seen me struggle being a single parent two two teens and worry about bills, etc... So you would think that when it came time for me to tell them about my blessing and offer to give them as much as a month to find a replacement they would be happy for me and wish me well. Instead they are acting like I may be asked to leave as soon as I turn in my offical notice just so that won't have to pay me for Thanksgiving holiday! WTF!!! I love you guys too!I guess I fucked them over somewhere along the line??? I only came in to help on every vacation I have taken or stayed on the phone on my dime everytime I took a sick day, which was almost never unless the kids needed me! I have gone above and beyond and considered these people my friends.Then I had the whole Tony moving a girl and her kids into "our" home thing on top of that.I had the only fun date I have had in two years dismiss me because I am a big girl, whatever. More to love dumbass. He wasn't so damn perfect, in fact a bit skinny!!It must be something I give off or my personality or something? After 47 years not one person that is not blood, loves me? Not one? WTF!!  I love a few even now, even though they have run right over me so why am I so damn unworthy??I like me. I think I am pretty and smart and honest and very kind to people. I truely care about people why don't any of them return the favor?It makes you want to just give up and stay in bed. No one can hurt or reject you there!I keep trying to believe. I spout positive shit and I do my best to believe and live it but it always comes down to, no one gives a shit about me! What the fuck is wrong with me?? It can't be all of them! I have met a lot of fucking people in 47 years and to not have even one that gives a shit?? I has to be me! They can't all be just hateful or wrong!I wish I could fix whatever it is. I wish I kenw what it was.