Maybe I'm not cutout for married life....?
Wrote this as a message to a friend and realized I was journaling rather than chatting.
I have been trying to distract myself from TOTGTM and home life. Home life has been especially stressful. I went to a "friend's" place for coffee yesterday morning. She and I have been talking/flirting for a while and have been getting very close. I behaved myself and just talked but as usual the next day, today, I feel great. I'm smiling more than I have in a while. I have positive energy which I must say I have been lacking. I am finding over and over that having a "friend" gives me more energy and makes me happy. Am I fooling myself. I'm failing to see the downside...... I have tried avoiding any "friends" this last year and it hasn't helped my home life. If anything it has gotten worse. I feel that I need the extra interactions to be happy. I have felt that for a while but keep going back to the notion that I must be the loyal husband to be happy. That doesn't seem to be working. I am naturally gravitating to what makes me happy and that is no longer typical married life. Is it time to tell the wife I want out and destroy her world and my kids?
It seems like a bad decision.
Replies
I completely get it.
Life is easier to deal with when you have the distraction.
Do you want to end your marriage? Really? I will say I don’t believe the grass is greener.....
I am often times at the point where I think it would be soooo much easier to end my marriage. It isn't that I want the distraction more than my marriage. I just want out of my marriage at times. [sigh]
I get it too. There were times I thought maybe going back to seeking an R with someone else might be the answer I've been looking for. But then I remember the ending of my last one & know for certain I wouldn't survive another rejection like that. Home life just isn't cutting it for me either.
You're playing with fire & you know it. Though I can't say as I blame you, I remember all too well the feeling during the talking/flirting stage. It was a wonderful escape from my "controlled life".
Like me, I think you need to keep trying to find something else that excites you. Someday you'll get there, hopefully long before you get my age.