May 31, 2015
Today has been so nightmarish. Every day taking care of Mom here at my apartment is so stressful. Today Mom has been pretty out of it. Not making sense, high CO2 level. Refusing BiPap. Or I put BiPap on, and 2 minutes later she's trying to claw it off. Horrible horrible horrible reality.
My heart is broken and bleeding for Mom. that she's ending her life on this horrible note, with someone like me who can barely cope. In fact, am I coping?! I read how I have been like today, and this is the sign of someone who is not coping well at all as a caregiver, and needs support and help.
I need time out. Can I have a few days of living in a delusional world where everything seems happy and joyous and positive and hopeful and flowery and sunshine and daisies and oceans and waves and happiness and dancing?
Poor Mom poor Mom may God bless Mom abundantly, and take her into His loving arms and welcome her into the Kingdom of Heaven when it is Mom's time to be there. God bless Mom.
I am crying, missing the Mom I once had. Feeling so bad, so inept, so inadequate, for my mom.
Life is lonely - oh so lonely for me right now.
My heart is broken and bleeding for Mom. that she's ending her life on this horrible note, with someone like me who can barely cope. In fact, am I coping?! I read how I have been like today, and this is the sign of someone who is not coping well at all as a caregiver, and needs support and help.
I need time out. Can I have a few days of living in a delusional world where everything seems happy and joyous and positive and hopeful and flowery and sunshine and daisies and oceans and waves and happiness and dancing?
Poor Mom poor Mom may God bless Mom abundantly, and take her into His loving arms and welcome her into the Kingdom of Heaven when it is Mom's time to be there. God bless Mom.
I am crying, missing the Mom I once had. Feeling so bad, so inept, so inadequate, for my mom.
Life is lonely - oh so lonely for me right now.
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