May 28 2020

About to enter my 10th month on HRT 

As I continue further on my h.r.t my progression my breasts are still developing. They seem to be more fuller in size and my hips are still growing as well. The past couple of weeks I have managed to get more information on my bottom surgery and I am happy to say that I am a candidate. Also I have found out that my insurance will pay 80% due to the fact that I am past the deductible which will be good on my part. It will leave me only paying the remaining 20% but with one stipulation I hope that Nick will not delay because I want to get the procedure done by the end of the year. I hope but my main concern is the second letter. From what I know and I think I heard correctly that they need 2 letters of approval. I am skeptical about Dr. Sofie I have this feeling that she will not do just like she mentioned about mailing me an authorization letter allowing her to speak to Heather or Dr. wood. Its been 2 weeks and no sign of the letter in my p.o. box.  I do not like the idea of people not living up to their promises as they are suppose to professionals and to help their clients not leaving them hanging so they can not complete their goal. I am disappointed with them. I want to complete the goal but I am at everyone's time frame, but I need to let them know that I have time table myself and I want to grab the opportunity while it is still available to me I just do not want it to pass me. It just reminds me of living with merle making promises and not keeping them. I am trying to keep that from happening again.

I want this opportunity and I don't want it to pass me by. I won't know what I will do, feel or emotionally handle another disappointment in my life. I am waiting to clear my name so I may land a better job before I can't or won't be able to work anymore, or to enjoy the rest of my life being complete as a woman. I am going to give it a week but I am still going to call everyday not to be a pain but I want this so badly.

Another good news is that I am going back to work as of June 1st and I will be able to get at least one weeks pay, but the one problem and concern I do have is that I hope that I do not contract the virus as I am considered a high risk. I will be glad to get back to work.

But another problem has cropped up and I know that it has been coming but when I didn't know.

It is the loneliness in my life know one to touch or show compassion to you it has been a long time and I wonder how much longer is this going to last.

I am going to close for now and as always if anything new pops up I will place it in the log.