Matrimonial Peace Talks
Long term relationships are not my strong suit. The instability of my childhood made them impossible. As an adult I remain somewhere between incapable and uninterested. Yet, somehow, I am approaching my 32nd anniversary. Mostly because remarriage is the only logical reason my twisted grey matter can find for divorce. Not interested. If this one doesn't work out, I surely don't see myself going another round with a fresh basket of issues. I will either work it out with this husband or I will go back to flying solo. The past 32 years have included quite a few solo flights, so I know I can and that I even enjoy it. Hubby knows it, too. Accepting my need to wander alone on a regular basis was in the pre-nuptials.
Within my anemic awareness of what it takes to manage a long-term relationships is a distinct impression that any long-term relationship needs a Taboo Topic List. Nobody can be your everything and all relationship is going to have sore spots you simply cannot discuss without springing into fisticuffs. It doesn't make sense to throw out an entire relationship for a few sore spots.
Playing music together has been on the matrimonial Taboo Topic List for around a quarter century. We do fine discussing recorded music and/or road shows, but the jam sessions in the living room became an issue within the first decade. Don't particularly want to relive the evolution. It makes more sense to me to just let any future evolutions spring from today's inventory.
Neither of us is particularly happy with the current set up. We share the passion far enough that the big space we call our music room was one of the selling points of the "new" house. The blockage is sufficient that now, almost 10 months since moving in, that big space is more junk room than music studio. Working it into a functioning studio is on both our wish lists but it keeps languishing for want of decisive action.
Within my anemic awareness of what it takes to manage a long-term relationships is a distinct impression that any long-term relationship needs a Taboo Topic List. Nobody can be your everything and all relationship is going to have sore spots you simply cannot discuss without springing into fisticuffs. It doesn't make sense to throw out an entire relationship for a few sore spots.
Playing music together has been on the matrimonial Taboo Topic List for around a quarter century. We do fine discussing recorded music and/or road shows, but the jam sessions in the living room became an issue within the first decade. Don't particularly want to relive the evolution. It makes more sense to me to just let any future evolutions spring from today's inventory.
Neither of us is particularly happy with the current set up. We share the passion far enough that the big space we call our music room was one of the selling points of the "new" house. The blockage is sufficient that now, almost 10 months since moving in, that big space is more junk room than music studio. Working it into a functioning studio is on both our wish lists but it keeps languishing for want of decisive action.
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