mask phobia - the source

i wasn't supposed to live long enough to reach this phase of my dental health. as a child, my adult teeth came in rotten with no dental care available, so i was 21 the first time i experienced an infection free mouth after two years of reconstructive procedures. i was assured the work would serve me well for 30 years or so with proper maintenance. 30 years sounded a lot longer when i was 21 than it does now, 46 years later. i was pretty fastidious with that care but time took it's inevitable toll and the past decade or so, the tolls have been steadily rising. in the first acceptance of this fate, i still didn't expect to live long enough to endure the entire degradation process, but my 3 orphans have changed that expectation considerably. i will be 84 when the baby graduates from high school and i am feeling motivated to be physically present at that graduation. college graduation, too. just hoping. . . maybe even the wedding? births of my great-grands?

and so i have submitted to the first step in the next phase of dental procedures, a la maskite rules. the entire consultation phase was masked and socially distant. so far as i could tell, i guessed the content of the mask muffle well enough to serve the purpose. i still couldn't look the maskite in the eye, but i managed to make it through the consultations without a meltdown. of course dental procedures cannot be performed at safe social distances but the masks are an expected part of those procedures and nobody expects me to talk with hands in my mouth.

methinks it was good exposure therapy for my mask phobia. i doesn't have to admire the fashion. i only need to grant others the right to follow their own fashion preferences.

processing. . . trusting the healing mysteries. methinks i'm holding steady.

stepping small, praying big and letting god lead the dance.