Married 33 Years and husband has a girlfriend

Ok where to begin....I've been marriage 33 years. Have 2 wonderful sons who are just beginning their careers. We were super involved in their growing up years. Had many ups and downs but focused on them and their achievements. That is probably where our affection went to them. My husbands childhood was not affectionate. His dad was a severe alcoholic and mother suffered from severe depression....she was a hoarder among other things. Mine was Ok not a lot of hugging until after I went away from college. My mother controlled the household but my father allowed it. Got married when I was 25 and husband 29. Again things were up and down..We both like to have the last word and have had some very vocal arguments along the way. After the boys went to college my husband bought his own business... a bread route. He worked 60 plus hours a week. I would get home from work and we would have about 1 hour together and while that was going on he was doing paper work.....communication very limited. We still hung around friends and did some things. As we were planning his early retirement this summer getting excited about reconnecting....Well he had developed a friendship with one of the four waitresses we would go to every Sunday morning..Pretty much the opposite of me. But has had a very hard life. He connected with her and boy have they connected. She is now the love of his life, soul mate and by the way wife of 33 years...I love you but I am not in love with you. This was addressed to me the night of his surprise retirement party and the night before we were going on a reconnection trip to Gatlinburg that he helped plan....To say the least things are horrible. The holidays were horrible starting with Thanksgiving. The boys are so upset with their father the youngest said yes he was a great dad growing up by he is a f******* a**** w*** The Oldest who has a masters in divinity never wants to see him or talk to him ever again. I have let him back in 3 times the first he was communicating with her texting and calling now that he has all day in our house. Second time it was after the holidays and he begged and left shortly after the Tuesday after Christmas. He very recently wrote me and the boys an apology said he had a conscious and wanted to start working on things jointly even went to one joint counselor appointment. Did I mention he even went to a priest and confessed his sins. Well all Hell broke loose yesterday after we got him a new phone number I noticed......I am a great snope, saw on his credit card that he had purchased a separate cell phone.. Well I went crazy....He was staying at a hotel I called went over and screamed and yelled at him in the parking lot like a crazy woman. Well he now is in another city with her about 500 miles away.....saw the gas purchases. He has turned off his new phone so we have no way to contact him.....he will probably check I need help.. We have both spoken to an attorney. At this point all of his retirement income in coming into our joint account I have stashed away some. I will continue to pay the joint household bills....33 years is a long time. but he is a pathetic liar and cheater Any advise greatly appreciated. He thinks I am a controlling B by the way which I admit I can be but someone in the family had to make sure things got done....Most of our joint friends think he has gone off the deep end and think I should file right now.....But 33 years I think he has had a breakdown or I am more than a fool than I think.