Marriage Review

(Post #2, since I've been having such a problem posting here lately!)
 
In reading the message boards, support forums & blogs, several things stand out to me for my consideration: what do I need? what do I want? what can I live with? what I can't live with? what can I give?
 
I need:
 
- physical safety
 
- not taking away/indebting where we are financially
 
- logistical help with the kids
 
I want/would like:
 
- emotional safety
 
- at least some financial support
 
- trust
 
- respect for my personhood
 
- emotional support
 
I cannot live with:
 
- physical abuse
 
- infidelity
 
- outright rudeness/disrespect
 
I can manage to live with:
 
- not getting my "wants" met (except for respect)
 
I can give (right now) (dependent on meeting of needs/wants):
 
- emotional support for his commitments that are not harmful to me
 
- financial support for needs
 
- prayer
 
(Hmm...I'm noticing that all of these are things that are "mine"--I "own" them. None are under his ownership. A good thing, since I can only take responsibility for & control of me. And it looks to me that they may(?) even be boundaries! I think this is a big step for me!)
 
Anyhow...I think that:
 
a - getting needs & wants met & being able to give what I can will lead to a good & fulfilling marriage
 
b - getting needs met, being able to give what I can & not receiving what I cannot live with will lead to a tolerable marriage
 
c - not getting needs met & receiving what I can't live with will lead to an intolerable & probably no marriage.
 
Looking this over, I think I am being very realistic with my expectations. Yeah, they seem really low, but this is the reality I'm dealing with. And I feel really good about this moment of clarity.