March Winds!
Good Morning, I started this as a reply to a message sent me and realized that I needed to journal, So:
Another rough weekend mentally. Wife is blaming me for the divorce, saying that all of a sudden I was the one who wanted to destroy her life. How she was giving up everything to make me happy. When I asked her about how she would not go to counseling with me and how she was the one who withdrew after Christmas and told me “You Know We Are Going Through With This!”, “We need to find a lawyer”. Then after our anniversary in January, that I spent alone, I asked her again where we were at and where we were headed she stated “It will never be more than it is”, “What has changed, Nothing!”. So I filed and now she says that I did it out of the blue! How I am forcing her to stay in a job that she hates because she is too old to start anything else. How I had taken away her confidence when we married and had to move because of my job. (She is doing the same job now, just different place)
She also was upset and ridiculed me for telling my family that we are divorcing. She said that it was none of their business. That she could not understand why I felt the need to tell them. And that she did not plan on telling any of her family.
And also she has asked me at least every other day if I had heard from the lawyer about the property division settlement (He should be getting with me today). I am confused!
I know this will be the best thing for both of us, but I am ready to walk forward. Ready to have hope of a future. I will always love my wife. I will always look at her as a woman I desire, but I never want to have to wonder if I have to duck and run when I see her again, I don’t ever want to have to spend the day trying to figure out what to do to not make her mad at me anymore for something that something, someone, or she did! She also said that the kids were grown and now it was her time to do what she wanted and being a "companion" to me was not part of that.
I am sacred of the future, but I am so looking forward to it!. I apologize if this sounds harsh, or makes me sound like a jerk. I don’t usually think of myself so much. I need to breathe. Time to get to work.
Another rough weekend mentally. Wife is blaming me for the divorce, saying that all of a sudden I was the one who wanted to destroy her life. How she was giving up everything to make me happy. When I asked her about how she would not go to counseling with me and how she was the one who withdrew after Christmas and told me “You Know We Are Going Through With This!”, “We need to find a lawyer”. Then after our anniversary in January, that I spent alone, I asked her again where we were at and where we were headed she stated “It will never be more than it is”, “What has changed, Nothing!”. So I filed and now she says that I did it out of the blue! How I am forcing her to stay in a job that she hates because she is too old to start anything else. How I had taken away her confidence when we married and had to move because of my job. (She is doing the same job now, just different place)
She also was upset and ridiculed me for telling my family that we are divorcing. She said that it was none of their business. That she could not understand why I felt the need to tell them. And that she did not plan on telling any of her family.
And also she has asked me at least every other day if I had heard from the lawyer about the property division settlement (He should be getting with me today). I am confused!
I know this will be the best thing for both of us, but I am ready to walk forward. Ready to have hope of a future. I will always love my wife. I will always look at her as a woman I desire, but I never want to have to wonder if I have to duck and run when I see her again, I don’t ever want to have to spend the day trying to figure out what to do to not make her mad at me anymore for something that something, someone, or she did! She also said that the kids were grown and now it was her time to do what she wanted and being a "companion" to me was not part of that.
I am sacred of the future, but I am so looking forward to it!. I apologize if this sounds harsh, or makes me sound like a jerk. I don’t usually think of myself so much. I need to breathe. Time to get to work.
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