March is here
Another first, Randy’s birthday was March 1 and I cried all day. I knew it would be another bad day for me so I did all the things that would be hard in one day. I cleaned out his dresser and closet, I brought the last of his medicines to the cancer center (I never wanted to see that place again!), I went to the cemetery and then I stopped by his brothers house (he’s having a really hard time missing his brother). Then my kids, grandson and I went out to eat and toasted Randy. We all miss him so much. He was such a great guy and a wonderful father. I couldn’t have asked for a better Dad to my kids. My grandson was the light in my hubby’s eyes. Randy got such a kick out of him. My grandson says he misses his Pop because he used to play with him all the time (his other grandfather doesn’t really “play”). Such a hole in everyone’s heart.
I used to tease Randy because he was 2 years older than me, now I realize he’ll always be 53 for me and I’m gonna get older than him. That really sucks! I miss you, my honey, and I’ll love you always!
I used to tease Randy because he was 2 years older than me, now I realize he’ll always be 53 for me and I’m gonna get older than him. That really sucks! I miss you, my honey, and I’ll love you always!
Replies
I agree that my husband\'s birthday was a rough day. I decided to do all his favorite things that day to honor him. It kept me busy being on the internet, going in the hot tub, doing the crossword puzzle, trying to nap, taking a walk etc. I am glad that you got through Randy\'s birthday and had a chance to toast him. Like you, I refuse to go to the cancer center again....too many horrible memories and feelings. I am glad that March 1st is behind you. Good job!
Peace to you.....Nancy
It sounds like you kept busy and did a lot of good things with people to honor Randy\'s birthday. I think that\'s got to be a hard milestone.
You\'re both explaining something that had me puzzled: A lot of my friends and I put together a project to knit or crochet chemo caps to be donated to our hospice. We\'ve already given them close to 20. I have two more that I finished and three that I still wanted to make, one of which I finally started the other evening, but I\'m dragging my heels somehow. Despite thinking of them as angels here on earth and wanting to give back in this small way, I realize that there\'s a psychological component in that I never want to have anything to do with them again or to be reminded of them in any way!
Hugs, Gail
Hi Dawn. Glad you made it through. Marti\'s is coming up on the 20th, but the whole family is getting together like you didd and we\'re gonna have a feast. She\'ll be smiling, hopefully with Randy!!! Hugs, kip.
Dawn, I\'m so sorry. I know how difficult the days that were once so special and now only remind us so over whelming of the loss are to go thru. My husband was also 53, he wanted so bad to make it to his birthday which was the following week.
I guess if it\'s to be a horrible day, doing the tough things don\'t make it much worse. Actually how much harder could it be? But you ended it by remembering the wonderful man that spent his life with you. What a wonderful thing for you and your family.
My husband has several brothers and they all have a tough time. Hunting season was so hard on them because they always, since they began to hunt, did it together. Glad you understood their anguish also.
Hugs,
Kathy
On the getting older noteI never really noticed or cared about getting older. Now I notice every little thing about my body and face. Not sure if all the little imperfections where there before and I just didnt notice, or if I gotten a whole lot older this year.
Rick was 51, but a really young one. I was 8 years younger and he used to tell everyone that I keep him young. He must have kept me young too, because I feel really old now and I am only 44.
My heart goes out to you. I was just thinking the other day that Dan will always be 66. That sounds old to some people but not to me. Hugs and blessings, Sue