March 2, 2010
Hello everyone, it is snowing once again in North Carolina. It has been a long nasty winter in the south. I pray that all is good with everyone. I have had each of you on my mind today. Especially Meriel. We all have been thur waiting for test and it can heart wrenching. My Steve is feeling much better today. He came off the Sutent on Saturday night, and I believe he will ask the onocologist for an extra week off. He has been on back to back cycles for the last 3 months. It really kicked his butt this past month. He didn't attend church this past Sunday and everyone was asking about him. I sat with his relatives but nothing feels right without him. ( I won't go there). I feel such compassion for those who have lost your precious loved one. How does one cope when you have been together for so long. 44 years this coming July. He is my one and only love. He has taken care of me for so long, and now I take care of him. He is still strong and I feel so blessed to have had him these extra years. He was first dianosed in August of 1998. We didn't have time back then to think about it really. He was in the hospital that Thursday and on Monday he had his kidney out. He recovered nicely and went back to work in six weeks. We realized that we had to get some living done and we traveled a lot. We went to Alaska, Lake Tahoe. Vegas, took a couple of cruises and lived every day to the fullest. We still go in between cycles when he feels like it!! We give our thanks to the good Lord above and to the doctors who do the research. We are involved in Relay For Life here in our town and try to raise as much money as possible. It is a wonder my poor heart is still working. I have cried a million tears over the years and I expect to cry a million more. My love to everyone this day!!! Wanda
Replies
Wanda, what a lovely entry, to hear about all the wonderful things that you and Steve still fit into your lives. I get struck by the notion that D and I need to start doing lots and lots more things together, too - I sometimes feel that we\'ve had precious few years to build a memory bank.
I\'m hoping so much that Steve has a good break, and gets his strength back.
Thank you Wanda, for your tangible compassion.
my love, and prayers for a great few weeks for the pair of you x x x x
Dear Wanda,
I have complete empathy and understanding of where you are....the road you have been on has been so long and so hard. You and Steve have been fighting this battle even longer than M and I and it never gets easy. Even though we accept and embrace the struggle because it means our loved one is still with us...that doesn\'t change the fact that this struggle wears and tears on us, emotionally, physically and mentally. However, this is all okay because as long as they are able to hang on and fight the cancer, there is hope...that is what I believe.
Like you and Steve, M and I have taken some amazing trips since his dx. I planned the trips not even knowing if he would be strong enough to go, but the planning was so much fun and surprisingly, he was always able to make the trips....in fact, they did him a lot of good emotionally.
Congratulations on your up-coming anniversary this year. I heard that 44 is a very lucky number (at least it is the number that is on most winning lottery tickets)....so, perhaps something extra wonderful will happen for you both this year. I do hope so.
Good for you for being involved in Relay for Life...M and I support the Kidney Cancer Association and one thing we got from them is this bright lime green wrist band that we both love to wear. It reminds us that we are in this together and that we are not alone in this cancer battle.
Hang in there Wanda....I hope Steve will be feeling much better soon.
Love, Linda
Oh, Wanda, I\'m wishing you all the best. Sounds like you\'re filling your lives with as much as you can. I agree with having another week off; those treatments really seem to suck all the energy out of them after a while.
Keep posting upbeat reports like this - go for it!
Hugs, Gail
Thank you to all of my friends. I look forward to talking to you everyday. It helps me cope with the day to day struggles. Love to you all, Wanda
Hello Dear Wanda,
We\'re working on year 44 too. Guess that means we\'re all \"old as mud\". lol
It\'s wonderful that you and Steve have been taking such special trips. Ray and I are hoping to take one out West this summer, God willing. A friend once told me....\"Life is not a dress rehearsal\"...time to go for it now!
Hopefully, the snow won\'t cause any problems. We\'re only getting rain here in SC. Tale care of yourself too, my friend.
Hugs,
Ingrid
Wanda, it\'s so encourging to hear how you and Steve have made the best of the time that you have together! I\'m sure that you have cried a million tears, but think of the smiles and laughs that you\'ve shared together through those same years. You will find the strength you need! Hoping Steve gets that extra week, sounds like he could use it! - Karen
H Wanda,
thank you for writig such a beautiful, inspiring, journal.. I know i\'m late at getting back to you...You have givin me so much hope that living and enjoying what Tim and i have just today and the last 5 days have been like living and enjoying our relationship in the very beginning we met.. The only difference is we know each other so much more than we did then, which has made our time so much more enjoyable.. You are such a stength for others and especially me, i admire your honesty and willingness to fight even harder, than ever, and for your friendship, love and caring..
With all my love,
Becca