Man, I LOVE DS!
Ever been lost? Sometimes when I'm exploring a trail out in the woods that I haven't been on for a long time, I'll wind up at places where the trail's been overgrown, isn't clear. It just seems to stop and I become unsure of myself. And sometimes, when I stop in those places, look around a bit, and then take a step forward in FAITH, I discover that the path is just a little further ahead and as soon as I leave that area, it becomes CLEAR.
That was yesterday's post for me. We had one heck of a thunderstorm last night... lightning, hail, strong winds.... it was scaring my dogs pretty good. And because we couldn't do our normal run to the dog park, I had time to think... think about what I wrote, why I was there, what I was feeling....
And it occurred to me that this moment, this place on my path, was all about CHOICES. I could choose to look backward... choose to stay where I was... or choose to move forward.... Looking backward just gives me more pain... staying where I was felt stuck, balancing on one foot, so to speak... so I chose to move forward... Because eventually, that foot is going to get tired and you HAVE to move...
I set the alarm clock for 5 am this morning so I could get started. First up was to get going on my fitness strategy. No way am I going to be stuck hating myself like I did yesterday. I'm watching a dog for a friend until this evening, so going for a bike ride just wasn't going to work. So I went down to my home gym (yep, I built one down there over the years) and started up my step aerobics tape.
I always tell myself 10 minutes.... no matter how I feel, what's going on, I HAVE to give myself 10 minutes.... if I'm too tired to go further that's fine, I'm done... but if I can push it until the end...
10 minutes, 20 more to go.... I had started out using arm weights.... it's been a while since I've done anything this strenuous. The grief of the divorce just basically slowed my motivation down to a walk... I still wanted to keep going, but I could tell my arms weren't going to let me...
15 minutes, 15 more to go... the tape was coming up to the heart check... my arms were getting tired, so I decided to drop the weights. As I did, I noticed two books I have on the shelf underneath the VCR. OMG, this is the PATH!
Book #1... Women Who Run With The Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. You should see this book... I've got post it notes all over it, lol.
The book is about how myths and stories represent ourselves inside. It's about the Wild Woman within all of us. The one that runs free! Most specifically, I remembered the story of Bluebeard... how Bluebeard is a part of ourselves that has a door where all the horrifying parts of ourselves are kept... and how when we discover that, we are hurt, shocked, terrified, realize we need saving and that time is running too short, and we desperately wait for our “brothers” to come and rescue us....
17 minutes, 13 more to go... but I was thinking that was WRONG. What if the “brothers” can't get there in time... what if I have to depend upon myself? And I thought about how Bluebeard MUST have weapons that he used to kill the other women in the story... so why aren't I finding those weapons to face this inner horror myself? WHY AM I WAITING?
20 minutes, 10 to go... feeling stronger, feeling more POWERFUL....
Book #2... It's Not About The Bike, My Journey Back to Life by Lance Armstrong.
There's a section in this book that irks and motivates me at the same time... he talks about how weak he was when he first got back on his bicycle after going through the cancer, and how an overweight woman on a mountain bike passed him...
23 minutes, 7 to go... POWER thru my arms, POWER thru my legs...
I'M THAT WOMAN... not in the literal sense, but basically, that's ME... finding out where I am, finding out where I'm going, finding out how I'm going to get there and DOING it. He may have felt embarrassed that she passed him, but she DID give him a gift.... MOTIVATION.
I know, I know... that age old question: Did he do drugs to win the Tour De France? You know, it doesn't matter - don't let the news pull you off the path! Because what mattered is that he made the effort, pushed those pedals and MOVED, despite his weakness, despite his pain. THAT's what mattered. Because all the drugs in the world aren't going to help if he never actually got started....
And it IS about the bike because the bike is NOTHING unless there is a leg pushing down the pedals, and a heart beating strong and lungs gasping for air. And bikes require MOVEMENT because if you just sit there, you're going to fall over and get hurt. And when you go for a long distance endurance ride, it's work... you sweat... you get tired... but the more you go, the more the ADVENTURE happens, and the more fun it is when you return....
28 minutes, 2 to go... I approached the cool down on the tape, but didn't want it... I wanted to KEEP GOING... higher kicks, higher leg lifts, bigger hops.... just a little longer...
32 minutes and cooling down (the tape is only 30 minutes long).... DONE. I found my path.
That was yesterday's post for me. We had one heck of a thunderstorm last night... lightning, hail, strong winds.... it was scaring my dogs pretty good. And because we couldn't do our normal run to the dog park, I had time to think... think about what I wrote, why I was there, what I was feeling....
And it occurred to me that this moment, this place on my path, was all about CHOICES. I could choose to look backward... choose to stay where I was... or choose to move forward.... Looking backward just gives me more pain... staying where I was felt stuck, balancing on one foot, so to speak... so I chose to move forward... Because eventually, that foot is going to get tired and you HAVE to move...
I set the alarm clock for 5 am this morning so I could get started. First up was to get going on my fitness strategy. No way am I going to be stuck hating myself like I did yesterday. I'm watching a dog for a friend until this evening, so going for a bike ride just wasn't going to work. So I went down to my home gym (yep, I built one down there over the years) and started up my step aerobics tape.
I always tell myself 10 minutes.... no matter how I feel, what's going on, I HAVE to give myself 10 minutes.... if I'm too tired to go further that's fine, I'm done... but if I can push it until the end...
10 minutes, 20 more to go.... I had started out using arm weights.... it's been a while since I've done anything this strenuous. The grief of the divorce just basically slowed my motivation down to a walk... I still wanted to keep going, but I could tell my arms weren't going to let me...
15 minutes, 15 more to go... the tape was coming up to the heart check... my arms were getting tired, so I decided to drop the weights. As I did, I noticed two books I have on the shelf underneath the VCR. OMG, this is the PATH!
Book #1... Women Who Run With The Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D. You should see this book... I've got post it notes all over it, lol.
The book is about how myths and stories represent ourselves inside. It's about the Wild Woman within all of us. The one that runs free! Most specifically, I remembered the story of Bluebeard... how Bluebeard is a part of ourselves that has a door where all the horrifying parts of ourselves are kept... and how when we discover that, we are hurt, shocked, terrified, realize we need saving and that time is running too short, and we desperately wait for our “brothers” to come and rescue us....
17 minutes, 13 more to go... but I was thinking that was WRONG. What if the “brothers” can't get there in time... what if I have to depend upon myself? And I thought about how Bluebeard MUST have weapons that he used to kill the other women in the story... so why aren't I finding those weapons to face this inner horror myself? WHY AM I WAITING?
20 minutes, 10 to go... feeling stronger, feeling more POWERFUL....
Book #2... It's Not About The Bike, My Journey Back to Life by Lance Armstrong.
There's a section in this book that irks and motivates me at the same time... he talks about how weak he was when he first got back on his bicycle after going through the cancer, and how an overweight woman on a mountain bike passed him...
23 minutes, 7 to go... POWER thru my arms, POWER thru my legs...
I'M THAT WOMAN... not in the literal sense, but basically, that's ME... finding out where I am, finding out where I'm going, finding out how I'm going to get there and DOING it. He may have felt embarrassed that she passed him, but she DID give him a gift.... MOTIVATION.
I know, I know... that age old question: Did he do drugs to win the Tour De France? You know, it doesn't matter - don't let the news pull you off the path! Because what mattered is that he made the effort, pushed those pedals and MOVED, despite his weakness, despite his pain. THAT's what mattered. Because all the drugs in the world aren't going to help if he never actually got started....
And it IS about the bike because the bike is NOTHING unless there is a leg pushing down the pedals, and a heart beating strong and lungs gasping for air. And bikes require MOVEMENT because if you just sit there, you're going to fall over and get hurt. And when you go for a long distance endurance ride, it's work... you sweat... you get tired... but the more you go, the more the ADVENTURE happens, and the more fun it is when you return....
28 minutes, 2 to go... I approached the cool down on the tape, but didn't want it... I wanted to KEEP GOING... higher kicks, higher leg lifts, bigger hops.... just a little longer...
32 minutes and cooling down (the tape is only 30 minutes long).... DONE. I found my path.
Replies
I get so excited about your getting fit, but I worry about you. If you haven\'t been doing this for a while, won\'t your muscles ache and scream for the next few days? The real question is what is that ache a symptom of? Are you really doing your muscles a service or a disservice. But I can tell you know what you are doing so my thoughts are pointless. Just keep it up and don\'t hurt yourself.
(((HUGS)))
It\'s all how you look at it! Achy muscles means IT\'S WORKING! (just make sure you\'re heathy enough first)
Yesterday morning, after the dog park, I got up from the computer and could barely move. It took me an hour to figure out why.... I MOVED FURNITURE the night before. A small entertainment center that I had in my basement that I had decided to turn into an end table in the bedroom. MAN it was heavy! I had to tip it on it\'s side, slide it onto a dolly, strap it on, and to get it up the 13 stairs, I had to sit on each step and PULL. One step at a time... PULL! Next step... PULL! Next step.... it looks pretty amazing in my bedroom, lol. The ache was gone this morning!
btw... technical answer to your question, lol. when you workout, your muscles tear a little bit and then rebuild themselves stronger. That\'s why you ache at first, but the more you do, the less it hurts. And yes, it\'s a GOOD thing.