Man...
Well
I'm not depressed but I'm feeling supressed.
I don't feel energetic in my personality... any bubbliness that was there feels corroded away. Maybe that's through lack of social interaction, as I know I really come out of my shell and thrive when I am around people I can relate to and have fun with.
My girlfriends didn't get back to me about tonight.... we had plans which i was feeling anxious about but prepared to head out despite this and they didn't get back to me! I could have followed it up but I guess I didnt want to go that much.
Instead I've been cleaning my room, which is nice actually and needed, but I'm feeling crap! Crap from eating crap and also from not having good company for such a long time.
I'm worried i'm turning into a boring, old and unlikeable individual. I'm finding it even harder to trust people because no one is opening up to me... well I've got two close GUY friends that are but I can't help to think that I should not hang out with them one on one while I've got a jealous boyfriend. I'm not married as my mum says but i'm a loyal person and I feel guilty for spending one on one time with them. AND YET I am so lonely that I crave some company... any company.. and the few offers I get are mainly from these two guys and I feel obliged to decline. It sucks~!!
I don't want this sadness or opression that is on me to consume me. And I know it's not entirely but I really want to go out... I just want some more friends and a more full and lively life! What to do what to do... make it happen ha why does that not happen as easily as it sounds!
Spirit.
I'm not depressed but I'm feeling supressed.
I don't feel energetic in my personality... any bubbliness that was there feels corroded away. Maybe that's through lack of social interaction, as I know I really come out of my shell and thrive when I am around people I can relate to and have fun with.
My girlfriends didn't get back to me about tonight.... we had plans which i was feeling anxious about but prepared to head out despite this and they didn't get back to me! I could have followed it up but I guess I didnt want to go that much.
Instead I've been cleaning my room, which is nice actually and needed, but I'm feeling crap! Crap from eating crap and also from not having good company for such a long time.
I'm worried i'm turning into a boring, old and unlikeable individual. I'm finding it even harder to trust people because no one is opening up to me... well I've got two close GUY friends that are but I can't help to think that I should not hang out with them one on one while I've got a jealous boyfriend. I'm not married as my mum says but i'm a loyal person and I feel guilty for spending one on one time with them. AND YET I am so lonely that I crave some company... any company.. and the few offers I get are mainly from these two guys and I feel obliged to decline. It sucks~!!
I don't want this sadness or opression that is on me to consume me. And I know it's not entirely but I really want to go out... I just want some more friends and a more full and lively life! What to do what to do... make it happen ha why does that not happen as easily as it sounds!
Spirit.
Replies
Hello , spirit13
read your journal interesting how I felt the same you do and some ways at times still do. I suggest you open up a little with yourself you deserve to go out and be happy to enjoy yourself. You should never feel obligated to have to do something thats when it becomes a problem. My suggestion is try to open up more and do others you enjoy with the people you hang. To try to meet new people as well