Making My House a Home Again

My youngest daughter is 22 and she will be graduating from college in December.  She has been waiting for me at the house each day, cooking and cleaning and rearranging when I get home from work.  Just little things to put a smile on my face.  I laugh because everyone says she is high maintenance.  Yet she has learned to cut the grass, pull weeds, cut hedges.  She evened nailed an glued a cabinet drawer and door back together that was broken on the day of the funeral.  She has taken one of the rooms and made into a kids playroom for the grandkids.  The last couple of days they grandkids show up right as I am getting home just to take care of their granny because that's what pops would have wanted them to do.  I bring Alexa my granddaughter  to school every morning on my way to work, she is the reason I climb out of bed in the morning.  This is her last week of school and I guess I will have to muster up the courage to go to work without seeing her beautiful smile every morning.  I am tired of putting on the happy face at work and then falling apart when I am alone at night.  Oh how I hate being a widow.  I had a dream of John the other night and he was laying down on a small bed and looking at me, trying to get to me and he said Dra' I LOVE YOU!  And Mom and Dad were with me (although they are both deceased they were there in my dream with me.  I kept asking for the past 7 weeks why didn't you fight to stay alive, he had a massive heart attack after riding his bike, it was instant.  But in my dream he showed me he tried but it was just his time.  Now I know he is in a better place and somewhere I hope to be real soon.  As they say there is no time like the present the sooner the better.  But our whole life all we ever wanted was the other one to be happy and I know right now he is.  I just hope that someday I will be too. Just thinking and crying out loud.  Tink