Make the best of the holidays...
So, I emailed my significant other on Saturday, and told him I was dreading to come see him for the weekend because I just didnt have it in me to fight or be upset or have another weekend where I am crying out of frustration because he tells me I dont love and care about him enough, and I have done everything I can to show that I do.
He emailed back, and was able to confort me enough to decide it may just be a good weekend afterall and we will enjoy it. I went over there and a couple hours later we went out to pick up a hot comodity video game we both played as kids (Super Mario Brother All Stars for Wii) and then to my house to pick up the Wii. When he got into my house his feelings got hurt because he saw I took the love letters he wrote me down. I told him that I took them down the last time we broke up (during the summer). The entire time he was standing there pouting so I told him to 'stop it'. That was when everything blew up... I dont love him and I am not sensitive of his feelings, and I shouldnt tell him to stop it because I hurt his feelings and I should console him. He is right, I probably should have.. but I think I have heard the whiny stuff so long that I just get frustrated everytime it starts.. its like 'this again?'.
So yeah, the weekend was almost ruined, he pouted all the way back to his house, and laid into me when we got there about how cold and heartless I was because I told him to stop feeling hurt. I got upset, and threw his key at him, and said I am done. I dont want to do this anymore. Its the same thing every weekend. I have to hear how heartless I am, I have to hear what the newest thing is I have done to hurt your feelings. If you are so unhappy with me why are you still with me? He tried to stop me from leaving, and then we he saw I was determined to go, he went and got the presents for my daughter and me that were for christmas and gave them to me. This broke my heart and brought my frustration levels down, and I stayed and we talked about an hour. We did make up, but I feel like I am still just prolonging the inevitable...
I always feel like its going to be this way, there will always be something. But I figure I would wait until after the holidays to revisit this ending the relationship ordeal. I want everyone to at least have a nice holiday, and not be miserable or hurt on Christmas Eve/Day.
So that is where it stands for now....
He emailed back, and was able to confort me enough to decide it may just be a good weekend afterall and we will enjoy it. I went over there and a couple hours later we went out to pick up a hot comodity video game we both played as kids (Super Mario Brother All Stars for Wii) and then to my house to pick up the Wii. When he got into my house his feelings got hurt because he saw I took the love letters he wrote me down. I told him that I took them down the last time we broke up (during the summer). The entire time he was standing there pouting so I told him to 'stop it'. That was when everything blew up... I dont love him and I am not sensitive of his feelings, and I shouldnt tell him to stop it because I hurt his feelings and I should console him. He is right, I probably should have.. but I think I have heard the whiny stuff so long that I just get frustrated everytime it starts.. its like 'this again?'.
So yeah, the weekend was almost ruined, he pouted all the way back to his house, and laid into me when we got there about how cold and heartless I was because I told him to stop feeling hurt. I got upset, and threw his key at him, and said I am done. I dont want to do this anymore. Its the same thing every weekend. I have to hear how heartless I am, I have to hear what the newest thing is I have done to hurt your feelings. If you are so unhappy with me why are you still with me? He tried to stop me from leaving, and then we he saw I was determined to go, he went and got the presents for my daughter and me that were for christmas and gave them to me. This broke my heart and brought my frustration levels down, and I stayed and we talked about an hour. We did make up, but I feel like I am still just prolonging the inevitable...
I always feel like its going to be this way, there will always be something. But I figure I would wait until after the holidays to revisit this ending the relationship ordeal. I want everyone to at least have a nice holiday, and not be miserable or hurt on Christmas Eve/Day.
So that is where it stands for now....
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