Make it stop

I went out last night for a meal with some friends of mine, I have known them forever and can talk, well I ended up crying in the pub, god almighty what is wrong with me??I am worrying about things that havnt even happened yet and thinking all these awful thoughts, like about people dying around me and how would I cope. Not sure what to do anymore, if I go out I feel just as bad as if i stay in, I hate being alone but being with people doesnt help either. I want to meet people who understand how this feels, I want help with this but dont know where to turn for it. My husband is very understanding but he doesnt really , understand , I mean, he doesnt know how it feelss to be like this and I dont think you can truly understand until you've been here.I feel like to quote a song, "I still havnt found what I'm looking for"