Major super update
Happy Birthday To Me!! 60 going on 40, LOL.
Holy cow, it was February, 2010 I was last here? Geez. Well, grab some popcorn; this might get long.
The last anyone knew, my beloved Eve, I and Eve's mother had just moved to southern Oregon. Well, come to find out, my beloved wasn't so beloved. After almost three years of listening to her complaining about the desert and claiming it was destroying her health (this from someone who professes that we create our own realities), she showed she could dish it out but not take it. We arrived just after the winter solstice and the sudden change in climate and daylight duration slammed me down into the deepest depression I've ever experienced. Even my physical health went down. She didn't like it and her mom didn't like it, so they decided I should leave. Actually, I think her mom had unrealistic expectations of my finding a job quickly and when that didn't happen in a few weeks she decided to eliminate an expense. This is a woman who unplugged nightlights to save money (34 cents a year total).
So I cashed in my 401-k and moved out the first of March. Got an amazing little duplex arranged with the garages between the living areas so there is no "neighbor noise". I hear more from the people directly behind me in another complex, but they aren't bothersome. The price is awesome, too. I could get a place for less, but the quality would be nothing compared to what I have now. It's only a couple of blocks from the Rogue River, too. In fact, everything in town is within two miles. I really love it here.
The Daily Courier has a couple of webcams if you're interested. http://web.thedailycourier.com/web_cam_2/ is the intersection of 6th and G streets. 6th is the one way street either coming from the right or leaving to the left. The camera is redirected from time to time. http://web.thedailycourier.com/web_cam/ is looking downstream on the Rogue River from the 7th Street bridge viewing the older 6th Street bridge.
I was sick (depression and physical "bug") almost constantly until around mid-April when warmer (to this old desert rat) weather finally arrived. Then I started job hunting. And hunting. And hunting. And hunting. I'd underestimated the severity of the employment situation here. But I was willing to do anything, just so long as I could live here, so I figured I'd have a good chance. Oh, there was one thing I would not do - work for DCS (Debt Collection Services). No, I will not be a bill collector profiting from the misfortune of others.
Finally got a job at ESAM. Boy was I happy. Paid $13 per hour, unheard of around here. Then the reality hit. It is the employer from hell. I can't believe they find people to work there. I'd sleep on the streets before I'd work for that den of Beelzebub again. Ten of us were hired for a specific customer. They cut our hours so much that we would have been better off with a minimum wage job at 40 hours per week. Little by little they whittled our number down, then on day 87 on December 15, three days before our probationary period was up, they fired three of the last five of us for trumped up "poor performance".
Unfortunately, that brief stint didn't qualify me for unemployment. I was really out of money then. Put my drums, washer/dryer, and microscope (never been used) up for sale. Of course, the washer/dryer went first and paid January's rent. The microscope and my dad's diamond ring covered February. The first part of March I finally qualified for unemployment and received some back pay which covered that month's rent.
In March I got a job through a temp agency with an electronics assembly company in White City, about 20 miles from here. It didn't pay much, but it was a foot in the door. I figured I'd make it until they took me on permanent and I'd get more money. But I began getting signs from other employees that the more money would be tiny if any. Then out of the blue I got a call from another temp agency asking if I'd be interested in a job in Merlin, only ten miles away, for $1.50 an hour more. There's a decision to be made??? I had a soldering test on Friday, an interview that turned more into a "get to know you" session on Monday. After the interview I was about two miles down the road when the offer came (I love cell phones). So I called the other temp agency and gave my two weeks notice. Went permanent with this company on July 19. No more money, but it's still more than I believe I'd have been making where I had to drive twice as far.
About a week after I'd started there I heard one of the employees saying he'd have to hang around for about an hour and a half after work to wait for his wife. I offered him a ride home and come to find out he showed me a shorter route on back roads that put his place only a block out of my way. DEAL!! So we began car pooling. For about three weeks when the tranny on the van went out on May 14. Now I ride with him. It will cost about $2400 and I have not been able to save a penny toward it. Every time I get a bit, something comes along and takes it away.
Not wanting to have to walk everywhere, I bought a bicycle. Had it a week and wiped out. Broke both wrists and knocked a hole in my chin. The right wrist was the worst and ended up in a cast for four weeks, then a Velcro splint for two more. But now they're all healed up and I'm back riding again. The first thing I did was negotiate the parking lot entrance that took me out. Got back on THAT horse. Yeeeeehaaaaa!! Now I'm riding every morning to my carpool's house so they don't have to come get me which is two miles round trip twice a day. I've even figured out how to fold my shirts so they fit into a Trader Joe's bag that fits into the rear baskets on the bike. Now I can bike to the laundromat which is just under 3/4 mile away.
I'm considering junking the van. I'm beginning to believe it may be time for me to move on from it and that's why I've not been able to save anything toward getting it repaired. It is the last connection left to my old life with my ex, and it was her van before she bought her ego-mobile.
During all this, Eve could not make up her mind whether or not she wanted us to be friends. However, the longer we were apart, the more I came to realize that I really did not like the person she is. She is not the lovely and spiritual being of light she has always presented herself as. Sure, on the surface she appears that way, but that's to people who have never seen the real her. Over the year I've met others who she's connected with, then broken off. Hope she realizes this is a small town with a limited resource of people to go through. Anyhow, I doubt she will ever approach me again and that's good. Keeps me from having to say "Move on."
My source of, oh, what would you call it? Inspiration? Good energy? Encouragement? Peaceful get-away? Anyhow, Aquarius Books and Gifts. I'd spotted their bright yellow and purple sign a few times while driving down E Street back in January when I was still with Eve and her mom. E Street is one way, I was always in the wrong (left) lane, and there was always a car or two in the way, so I'd drive on past. Then one day the right lane was empty and I turned in from the left one. I don't normally do that, but this was a special case. And I had the street to myself. Anyhow, when I stepped through the door the beautiful energy of the place wrapped itself around me and I instantly felt at home. Ahhhhhh. Little by little I've come to know, and become one of, the people that are considered the "Aquarius family". They have many seminars on all sorts of topics. Some are way too woo-woo for me, but others are right down my alley. As I've often said, every path holds some seeds of truth. Here's their website: http://www.aquariusbooksandgifts.com/
A few weekends ago I met and practically spent the weekend with Paradiso and Rasamayi. They are musicians and sound healers. Paradiso is the only didgeridoo player to have performed in Carnegie Hall. Rasamayi is his Twin Flame and is magical on the crystal bowls. I met them on a Friday evening at Aquarius. I'd already purchased a seat for their concert/healing session Saturday evening. However, that had quickly sold out and they (musicians and Aquarius) opened up a one o'clock session. That suited me better, so I switched to it which freed up a seat for that evening. There were only six attendees and with the energy concentrated on us, it was quite powerful. That evening Fred, one of the owners of Aquarius, invited me to the evening session, too. I hadn't paid and didn't feel right about going upstairs and being right there in it, so I sat at the foot of the stairs and listened. Not as powerful, but just as beautiful. Sunday morning they performed at a spiritual circle that I'd never attended before. I went and what happened was quite amazing (later). Then that afternoon they had a seminar at Aquarius that I also attended. I gifted Rasamayi with a refrigerator magnet that had "Tips from a Hummingbird" on it. I learned that she and I share that creature as animal totems.
When I first awakened after quitting smoking in 2005, I discovered a strong, almost intense, connection to the Earth and her energy. If I looked for it, I could sense the Divine connection, too, but it was a trickle where the Earth energy flowed like a six-inch fire hose fully on. Back then, it would make me tremble and break out in a sweat at any temperature. It was being that open that allowed me what I needed to be so helpful to people, first with quitting smoking, then other issues that arose.
Then Eve came along and from the shock of who she really was I began shutting down. Actually, it was more throwing up shields against her ego, but energy is energy. Block one and you block them all. First went the weak Divine connection, then the empathy that let me help others, and finally the Earth connection. Gone, dead, zip. Since we have been apart I've tried to re-establish the Earth connection, but only occasionally felt a tiny bit. That Sunday morning the circle had gathered outdoors in a beautiful private picnic area on the bank of a creek. As Paradiso and Rasamayi were performing, I felt it, stronger than I'd felt it in a few years. In fact, Mother was calling so I moved my chair back and sat right down on the ground. She flooded into me and it was so beautiful. Like when I walked into Aquarius, I was home.
I've wondered if this is why I had to come here to this place, to be healed. Maybe, maybe not. I don't question and am not seeking the answer. It's more of a rhetorical pondering. I look back over the past year and a half, at the walk in faith that I've made, and I have to believe that such just might be so. So many months I've been days away from the first of the month and it's rent payment, with only a few dollars in the bank and no income. Yet I remained in allowance and trust that what would transpire would be what was necessary for the greater good and never went into fear, worry, or despair. And every month, something would come from somewhere to cover the bills. Most required no repayment.
So this has been a year and a half of lessons, growth, and healing. Perhaps the most difficult lesson I've had to learn and am still working on is to allow others to do for me. Perhaps that's another aspect of the van dying.
But all in all, I'm happy and more at peace than I've been in a long, long time.
Abundant blessings to you all.
Namaste
Holy cow, it was February, 2010 I was last here? Geez. Well, grab some popcorn; this might get long.
The last anyone knew, my beloved Eve, I and Eve's mother had just moved to southern Oregon. Well, come to find out, my beloved wasn't so beloved. After almost three years of listening to her complaining about the desert and claiming it was destroying her health (this from someone who professes that we create our own realities), she showed she could dish it out but not take it. We arrived just after the winter solstice and the sudden change in climate and daylight duration slammed me down into the deepest depression I've ever experienced. Even my physical health went down. She didn't like it and her mom didn't like it, so they decided I should leave. Actually, I think her mom had unrealistic expectations of my finding a job quickly and when that didn't happen in a few weeks she decided to eliminate an expense. This is a woman who unplugged nightlights to save money (34 cents a year total).
So I cashed in my 401-k and moved out the first of March. Got an amazing little duplex arranged with the garages between the living areas so there is no "neighbor noise". I hear more from the people directly behind me in another complex, but they aren't bothersome. The price is awesome, too. I could get a place for less, but the quality would be nothing compared to what I have now. It's only a couple of blocks from the Rogue River, too. In fact, everything in town is within two miles. I really love it here.
The Daily Courier has a couple of webcams if you're interested. http://web.thedailycourier.com/web_cam_2/ is the intersection of 6th and G streets. 6th is the one way street either coming from the right or leaving to the left. The camera is redirected from time to time. http://web.thedailycourier.com/web_cam/ is looking downstream on the Rogue River from the 7th Street bridge viewing the older 6th Street bridge.
I was sick (depression and physical "bug") almost constantly until around mid-April when warmer (to this old desert rat) weather finally arrived. Then I started job hunting. And hunting. And hunting. And hunting. I'd underestimated the severity of the employment situation here. But I was willing to do anything, just so long as I could live here, so I figured I'd have a good chance. Oh, there was one thing I would not do - work for DCS (Debt Collection Services). No, I will not be a bill collector profiting from the misfortune of others.
Finally got a job at ESAM. Boy was I happy. Paid $13 per hour, unheard of around here. Then the reality hit. It is the employer from hell. I can't believe they find people to work there. I'd sleep on the streets before I'd work for that den of Beelzebub again. Ten of us were hired for a specific customer. They cut our hours so much that we would have been better off with a minimum wage job at 40 hours per week. Little by little they whittled our number down, then on day 87 on December 15, three days before our probationary period was up, they fired three of the last five of us for trumped up "poor performance".
Unfortunately, that brief stint didn't qualify me for unemployment. I was really out of money then. Put my drums, washer/dryer, and microscope (never been used) up for sale. Of course, the washer/dryer went first and paid January's rent. The microscope and my dad's diamond ring covered February. The first part of March I finally qualified for unemployment and received some back pay which covered that month's rent.
In March I got a job through a temp agency with an electronics assembly company in White City, about 20 miles from here. It didn't pay much, but it was a foot in the door. I figured I'd make it until they took me on permanent and I'd get more money. But I began getting signs from other employees that the more money would be tiny if any. Then out of the blue I got a call from another temp agency asking if I'd be interested in a job in Merlin, only ten miles away, for $1.50 an hour more. There's a decision to be made??? I had a soldering test on Friday, an interview that turned more into a "get to know you" session on Monday. After the interview I was about two miles down the road when the offer came (I love cell phones). So I called the other temp agency and gave my two weeks notice. Went permanent with this company on July 19. No more money, but it's still more than I believe I'd have been making where I had to drive twice as far.
About a week after I'd started there I heard one of the employees saying he'd have to hang around for about an hour and a half after work to wait for his wife. I offered him a ride home and come to find out he showed me a shorter route on back roads that put his place only a block out of my way. DEAL!! So we began car pooling. For about three weeks when the tranny on the van went out on May 14. Now I ride with him. It will cost about $2400 and I have not been able to save a penny toward it. Every time I get a bit, something comes along and takes it away.
Not wanting to have to walk everywhere, I bought a bicycle. Had it a week and wiped out. Broke both wrists and knocked a hole in my chin. The right wrist was the worst and ended up in a cast for four weeks, then a Velcro splint for two more. But now they're all healed up and I'm back riding again. The first thing I did was negotiate the parking lot entrance that took me out. Got back on THAT horse. Yeeeeehaaaaa!! Now I'm riding every morning to my carpool's house so they don't have to come get me which is two miles round trip twice a day. I've even figured out how to fold my shirts so they fit into a Trader Joe's bag that fits into the rear baskets on the bike. Now I can bike to the laundromat which is just under 3/4 mile away.
I'm considering junking the van. I'm beginning to believe it may be time for me to move on from it and that's why I've not been able to save anything toward getting it repaired. It is the last connection left to my old life with my ex, and it was her van before she bought her ego-mobile.
During all this, Eve could not make up her mind whether or not she wanted us to be friends. However, the longer we were apart, the more I came to realize that I really did not like the person she is. She is not the lovely and spiritual being of light she has always presented herself as. Sure, on the surface she appears that way, but that's to people who have never seen the real her. Over the year I've met others who she's connected with, then broken off. Hope she realizes this is a small town with a limited resource of people to go through. Anyhow, I doubt she will ever approach me again and that's good. Keeps me from having to say "Move on."
My source of, oh, what would you call it? Inspiration? Good energy? Encouragement? Peaceful get-away? Anyhow, Aquarius Books and Gifts. I'd spotted their bright yellow and purple sign a few times while driving down E Street back in January when I was still with Eve and her mom. E Street is one way, I was always in the wrong (left) lane, and there was always a car or two in the way, so I'd drive on past. Then one day the right lane was empty and I turned in from the left one. I don't normally do that, but this was a special case. And I had the street to myself. Anyhow, when I stepped through the door the beautiful energy of the place wrapped itself around me and I instantly felt at home. Ahhhhhh. Little by little I've come to know, and become one of, the people that are considered the "Aquarius family". They have many seminars on all sorts of topics. Some are way too woo-woo for me, but others are right down my alley. As I've often said, every path holds some seeds of truth. Here's their website: http://www.aquariusbooksandgifts.com/
A few weekends ago I met and practically spent the weekend with Paradiso and Rasamayi. They are musicians and sound healers. Paradiso is the only didgeridoo player to have performed in Carnegie Hall. Rasamayi is his Twin Flame and is magical on the crystal bowls. I met them on a Friday evening at Aquarius. I'd already purchased a seat for their concert/healing session Saturday evening. However, that had quickly sold out and they (musicians and Aquarius) opened up a one o'clock session. That suited me better, so I switched to it which freed up a seat for that evening. There were only six attendees and with the energy concentrated on us, it was quite powerful. That evening Fred, one of the owners of Aquarius, invited me to the evening session, too. I hadn't paid and didn't feel right about going upstairs and being right there in it, so I sat at the foot of the stairs and listened. Not as powerful, but just as beautiful. Sunday morning they performed at a spiritual circle that I'd never attended before. I went and what happened was quite amazing (later). Then that afternoon they had a seminar at Aquarius that I also attended. I gifted Rasamayi with a refrigerator magnet that had "Tips from a Hummingbird" on it. I learned that she and I share that creature as animal totems.
When I first awakened after quitting smoking in 2005, I discovered a strong, almost intense, connection to the Earth and her energy. If I looked for it, I could sense the Divine connection, too, but it was a trickle where the Earth energy flowed like a six-inch fire hose fully on. Back then, it would make me tremble and break out in a sweat at any temperature. It was being that open that allowed me what I needed to be so helpful to people, first with quitting smoking, then other issues that arose.
Then Eve came along and from the shock of who she really was I began shutting down. Actually, it was more throwing up shields against her ego, but energy is energy. Block one and you block them all. First went the weak Divine connection, then the empathy that let me help others, and finally the Earth connection. Gone, dead, zip. Since we have been apart I've tried to re-establish the Earth connection, but only occasionally felt a tiny bit. That Sunday morning the circle had gathered outdoors in a beautiful private picnic area on the bank of a creek. As Paradiso and Rasamayi were performing, I felt it, stronger than I'd felt it in a few years. In fact, Mother was calling so I moved my chair back and sat right down on the ground. She flooded into me and it was so beautiful. Like when I walked into Aquarius, I was home.
I've wondered if this is why I had to come here to this place, to be healed. Maybe, maybe not. I don't question and am not seeking the answer. It's more of a rhetorical pondering. I look back over the past year and a half, at the walk in faith that I've made, and I have to believe that such just might be so. So many months I've been days away from the first of the month and it's rent payment, with only a few dollars in the bank and no income. Yet I remained in allowance and trust that what would transpire would be what was necessary for the greater good and never went into fear, worry, or despair. And every month, something would come from somewhere to cover the bills. Most required no repayment.
So this has been a year and a half of lessons, growth, and healing. Perhaps the most difficult lesson I've had to learn and am still working on is to allow others to do for me. Perhaps that's another aspect of the van dying.
But all in all, I'm happy and more at peace than I've been in a long, long time.
Abundant blessings to you all.
Namaste
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