Made it through surgery - not over yet

The surgery itself went well - I guess. I'm still here. The Drs failed to take into consideration that I have a severe panic disorder and that I am also a chronic pain patient. After surgery they actually had me on fewer pain meds then I usually take for my broken back and two herniated discs. (I was pending surgery for that when they found the cancer). It was 36 hours of pure torture and has redefined my defination of "worse pain ever felt".
They took both lobes of my thryoid, finding a 6cm cancerous tumor in the left side. They also took most if not all of the lymph nodes out of my neck - but none came back as cancerous. So that was good. The surgeon said that the cancer was entirely encapsulated. I have now been started on thryoid replacemnt hormones.
At first it looked like someone has slit my throat and I was a walking zombie. Then I moved to the category that it looked like I had at least survived having my throat slit. Now, 2 1/2 weeks after surgery, it unless you look close, it looks like I need to wash my neck.
One of my vocal cords has failed to recover, at least so far. That means I am still sometimes inhaling what I should be swallowing. I have had boarderline aspirational pneumomia since the surgery. Yesterday they did chest xrays to see if they need to treat it. I am told that if in 18 months the vocal cord has not recovered, they can surgurically help it out.
I don't know why, but other than the possible pneumomia, I had it in my head that I was done with this. Then, talking with the surgeon yesterday as she spoke of referrals to another Dr for specialized scans and irradiated iodine treatments - they are expecting to do two because of the size of the cancer - it hit me that I am a long way away from being done with this.
My mother had this same cancer - while she was pregnate with me. My oldest sister had it. She lived through the surgery, but drank herself to death before they started any further treatments.
I am scared.