Lynn

My wife and I know each other for 30 years and we are married for 27 years. For some reason, for quite some time after her passing, I could not picture her face or remember her voice.  This happens in movie “Saving Private Ryan” when Ryan (played by Matt Damon) could not picture his brothers’ faces before the final Battle of the Bridge. Maybe this is the way that your brain protects you from excruciating pain? I am not sure.
Now her face has come back because I force myself to see her photos. But not her voice. I still couldn’t hear her. In the movie, Captain Miller (played Tom Hanks) asks Ryan to place the memories in a context, and then Ryan’s memories all come back. This morning I went to a barbershop that my wife Yan used to go. In Hong Kong, they ask if you prefer a particular barber. I normally don’t choose. But today, when I saw Lynn there, I remember Yan always asked me “Is Lynn there?” Lynn is her favorite. Yan always had Lynn to do her hair. Many times I went out, Yan asked me to stop by the barbershop to check if Lynn is there so she can go.
Today I chose Lynn. Many people here are very private. They don’t ask about personal issues. So Lynn didn’t know my wife’s passing. I was sitting on the chair Yan used to sit, having my hairs cut by her favorite barber. All of sudden, my wife was saying to me “Is Lynn there?”…. I heard you baby, I hear you!  My tears streamed down my face without stop. I told Lynn about Yan after. She said very very sorry.  

“Is Lynn there?”
Yes, she is, baby, yes she is. I know you like her. She loves you too. We all do, still and forever. So glad to hear from you, so glad…..


Yes, the memories of your loved one will come back even after this most poignant form of pain. Still, it is quite amazing the way it comes back— how comfort can be brought out from pain.